My mother-in-law is as superstitious as the Indian politicians who are currently reaching out to people in a desperate race to win election to the lower house of parliament.
When we were moving house some time back, she insisted that it must be done at a particular auspicious time of the day, and that happened to be noon time, during a particularly hot summer in North India, when birds usually drop dead out of trees. By the time that lucky period arrived, the bridge that we were supposed to cross was closed to heavy trucks, including ours that was carrying all our old furniture, even the broken-down refrigerator that we took along with us wherever we went.
That fridge never kept anything cold but my mother-in-law had turned it into a mini pantry and stored in it what she called “non-perishables”, such as rice, wheat and washing powder. “Stop, the truck is not behind us,” I shouted to our driver, which was unnecessary, as we were stuck in New Delhi’s peak hour, noon traffic, and not going anywhere for a while. “I can’t see it,” I said, peering into the rear-view mirror.
The bridge we were on had three lanes, but Delhi motorists had somehow squeezed their Marutis and the out-of-place Mercs between the lines and had turned it into four lanes. We somehow still found space at the side to stop and the driver got out and left us for a while. “We have to bribe a policeman,” he said, with a gleam in his eyes when he came back. My mother-in-law was sure that he had hiked the price so as to pocket the rest.
When we finally reached the new home, exhausted after bargaining with the police, my mother-in-law said we need milk, to boil, as it signifies luck and plenty. Milk overflowing from the pot as it boils is supposed to signify an overflow of wealth coming into the house.
We had plenty of drinking water with us, but no milk, and we did not know where the corner grocery was in this new neighbourhood. The driver was again dispatched and he disappeared again with that familiar glee in his eyes.
Shashi Tharoor, Indian Minister of State for Human Resource Development, recounted in his opinion piece in Gulf News on Monday, about how soothsayers have taken over Indian politics.
He said that his favourite story involved a chief minister who refused to move into his official residence because a ‘pundit’ (Hindi word for scholar, teacher, but it also means an astrologer), warned that the house was not built to the correct principles of the Indian version of feng shui. The house had to be broken down and the doors and entrances reconstructed at great expense of the taxpayer, Tharoor said. The story does not end there. After he moved in, the chief minister lost his job due to a political crisis.
My mother-in-law happily settled in her new home after spilling on the stove the watered-down milk, that the driver had brought from a sweet-maker, and attracted the neighbourhood’s cats.
Reading about an exciting football match the other day, I found that it was not just my mother-in-law, or Indian politicians, who are irrational, but that some major league players are equally gullible and have lucky jerseys that they wear to all games. Nancy Reagan, the former American president’s wife had an astrologer guide her husband on every major decision. And Cherie Blair invited a feng shui expert to 10 Downing Street, who advised the prime minister to sleep with his head pointing to the north-east and his toes to the south-west to get the best rest.
I showed my mother-in-law the story about Tony Blair, and she said it was all nonsense. “I sleep with my head pointing east,” she said.
