At what age do we grow old? Or, say, when do we become old? Around 60, 70, 80 or earlier?
This has been a subject of perennial interest the world over, which has been discussed for long and will continue to keep us interested in the future as well.
During my long career, I came across innumerable persons from various sections of the society — rich and poor, healthy and unhealthy, men, women and children. Many among them looked older than their actual age. On the other hand, there were others whose deceptive younger looks camouflaged their actual age.
I noticed that by and large, most men love to be seen and treated as ‘senior’ or elderly in society, even though their age did not warrant it. Ostensibly, they did it to earn higher social status and respect. For that, they liked to exaggerate their age. Quite often, they would tell you: “Oh dear, don’t ask me to do that. I am past that age.”
But one can’t change his looks and hide the truth always. So, if somebody tells him: “No, no. You are quite young”, he would refute it sheepishly. On the contrary, there are people who actually are old but do not want to be called as such. They do not want to be reminded of their greying hair, contracting muscles and wrinkles. “Who says I am old? Don’t you see my agility, my (black) sideburns and hair?” he would assert even if he had dyed them black an hour ago. Today, a Bollywood jargon “Buddha hoga tera baap” (Old? That must be your father) has come in handy for such people. I remember having once met a 50-year-old man who used to wear a near-natural black wig that made him look 35. He was a regular visitor to high society clubs and was frequently seen in the company of women, the wig concealing his real identity. The cat jumped out of the bag one evening when his wig got entangled with some thing and fell off while entering a car. The sudden change in his familiar looks surprised the onlookers.
Unusual manner
In the 1960s, I had a journalist friend, a Sikh, who looked quite young and smart — thanks to the hair dye and henna he used. His vibrant voice was his additional asset. I always thought he must have been only a few years older than me. The truth, however, surfaced in an unusual manner. One day, I showed up at his doorstep unannounced on some urgent work. He was relaxing sans his turban and wore only a vest and shorts. His silvery hair and beard had changed his looks so much that I, his friend of some years, took time to make sure that he was the person I had gone to meet.
India’s renowned sprinter, 84-year-old Milkha Singh is an embodiment of youthfulness who belies his age. He is an envy of many younger people in the country. Milkha, on whom a full-length film has been made in Bollywood, is seen in a television ad rightly exhorting some middle-aged people to feel and stay young.
This reminds me of one of my old workplaces where our Chief Reporter and a Senior Reporter were older, but were refusing to accept their age. Both were ‘chronic bachelors’ — reason that seemed to confirm the widely-held belief that bachelors live longer and lead a comparatively healthier life. I don’t know how true that is.
On the other hand was my 35-year-old boss who hailed from what is today’s hill state of Uttarakhand. A handsome, robust figure, he loved claiming “I am an aged person now”, which he was not. Just out of curiosity, I tried hard to find out from him the reason behind his despondency. He always smiled away my query. Some years later, I left that paper and moved to another city.
One day, I learnt that he was gone. He had died a premature death. On the other hand, my two bachelor colleagues lived longer.
Was it a case of positive thinking prolonging and nurturing a healthy life and negative attitude cutting it short?
I think I was rightly convinced that being old is a state of one’s mind. You are young if you feel so irrespective of your age. And you will get old literally if you have so decided.
Lalit Raizada is a journalist based in India.
