The Roads and Transport Authority (RTA) announced the other day it would be pushing for stickers that say ‘New Driver’, for those who are new on Dubai roads.

The stickers would protect them from being harassed by more experienced drivers, according to the RTA, after a survey among new drivers found that they would wish to flaunt the stickers, now that they finally got a licence — thanks to their good luck and the prayers of their spouses.

The stickers would be similar to the big, red-coloured ‘L’ signs that traffic authorities in my home country India hand out to those that finally learn that driving for them means that there are no rules of the road.

I kept the ‘L’ sign hanging on my motorbike for a long time after I got my licence as I found that it scared pedestrians silly, who otherwise did not care a hoot for anything when running across the street. (Actually, it would be a good idea to give ‘L’ signs to the millions of hapless tourists who come to the country and discover Indian roads for the first time).

RTA said the new signs would be similar to the one that says ‘Baby on Board’. When you see this sign on a car in front, you have to be very wary because that means the motorist could be driving as erratically as a baby that is happily gurgling and crazily turning the wheel.

But jokes apart, I find new drivers in Dubai a menace and that they drive me crazy and make me do strange things. I am normally a patient person; some say that I am so patient that it feels as if I am frozen in time. One day, as I got out from my workplace on an urgent assignment, I found a line of cars waiting patiently to go over a speed breaker.

The cars had fancy signs on their roofs that said “Driving Institute” or something like that. As I waited, each of the cars daintily took a step forward and slowly and carefully stepped over the speed breaker. This went on for quite some time, so I moved my gear shift to 3 from D and roared past them on the two-way street.

Incidentally, this also happens when you are behind a huge truck or a sports utility vehicle, or ‘SUV’ as they are called. These things will usually cut in front of you suddenly without giving a signal on the fast highways, but when it comes to a speed bump (which is called a “Road Hump” in some countries for some reason), they become softies. You wait and you wait for this huge monster to figure out how to tackle this dangerous road hazard, and then finally it goes over it.

The same thing happens when you are behind someone in a sports car. Since the driver is sitting six inches off the road, he does not wish to scrape his bottom or underside, so the same tortuous thing happens at a speed bump.

Back to the learner drivers and they all looked at me with awe as I passed, and so did the instructors, who stopped speaking on their mobiles for a moment to give me a satisfied look — as if it was they who had taught me how to drive.

Over the years, I have learned to avoid certain areas of Dubai, where you find these learner drivers. One is behind my workplace in Bur Dubai and the other is near the seaport. But some people say that you will find learner drivers everywhere in Dubai or so it seems.

For the newbies, here are a few tips from an expert to make your trips interesting: Honk when waiting at the red light.