My friend V is infuriated. But first, some background. She is one of the most civic-minded people I know. She takes part in local clean-up drives — sweeping pavements, collecting litter and painting benches. She recycles, composts, grows her own vegetables. She is constantly thinking about the effects of her lifestyle choices, on the neighbourhood, the city, the country, the world.

And yet, when India went to vote, she decided not to cancel her trip out of town. She was well aware that voting was her duty as a caring citizen, but this once, decided that spending time with a dear friend she may not see for years was more important to her. And that’s why she’s angry. Because of the people who, on seeing that she didn’t have the tell-tale ink stain on her finger, criticised her sharply for not doing her duty as a good citizen. They felt she deserved it all the more because she was normally so aware of her place in the system.

The harshest words, said V, came from people who don’t do anything even vaguely non-self-obsessed all year.

“They go only from home to car to office and back,” said V. “They don’t do anything on weekends but go to the spa, brunches and bars. I mean I like all that too, but...” I knew what she was too modest to say even to me. That she spent many weekends doing volunteer work, the last one was at an animal shelter.

Pressing a button

And yet, during elections, these people suddenly become self-righteous model citizens. After years of complaining with no action, or of actually making the situation worse, all sins are undone because they stand in line and press a button. V named three people I knew. “Do you think they’ve even thought through who to vote for and why? Have they researched the candidates? It’s all about posing with that ink-marked finger for Facebook.”

I grinned. V was rarely this cynical, or angry, so I took a tour of her friends’ status updates. There was indeed a lot of stuff along the lines of “I postponed my trip as it was on voting day. What about YOU?”

One of the most annoying statements went like this: “Non Voters, I think u do not respect yourself enough to think that your opinion matters and your vote matters. Basically u have no self respect. ... All people who have self respect will Vote tomorrow....” No that wasn’t written by an 8-year-old looking forward to being able vote in 10 years, it was by a voting adult.

I told V to remember that the harshest critics did it out of insecurity. “Think about how the most sedentary people also have the most advice about eating and exercise,” I reminded her.

“But I just go ahead and do what I do,” she almost wailed. “I NEVER preach! This is my lifestyle choice, it’s what makes me happy.” I sat down and told V about how, sometimes, quietly getting along with your life makes you a target. People want to poke at you to see what makes you tick. They want to goad you, and jump onto every sign that proves you’re only human. “It makes them feel better about themselves,” I said.

“Then people are just mean,” she said. I shrugged. I had to agree, that frequently, people just are.

“You know what? I’m going to do something about this,” she said. She logged onto Facebook and started deleting everyone who “brings a negative energy” into her life.

“Look guys, I’ve voted!” she said with delight.

Gautam Raja is a journalist based in Bengaluru, India.