Being a relatively new entrant in the world of whatsapp, I was initially intrigued by how promptly people reacted to what you had to say. It was like lobbing a ball over the net with lightning speed and having it returned immediately. But this rapid-fire exchange soon petered out as each one was updated on the latest news. There was nothing new to add.
Then the barrage of photographs, jokes and videos started. Some were worth viewing, others were not really my cup of tea. Now I have begun receiving long news clips which I simply don’t have the time to read. I am told that this is the latest or a completely different take on a subject but the information isn’t going to make me stop doing what I am doing and scroll to the end. Also, many seem to forget that I work for a newspaper so there isn’t much that is new to me.
So, dear friends and acquaintances, please don’t waste your time sending me these or wise sayings. A joke or two won’t come amiss but otherwise just keep me updated on what’s new in your life, assuming that it is a laugh or thrill a minute. I know mine isn’t and that’s why you won’t hear from me on a regular basis.
There are different types of conversationalists and often you find you are not on the same page or, even worse, in different time zones. So, when I am free and ready to exchange information, the person I want to contact is busy at work or fast asleep. Waiting for him or her to wake up to my news kind of defeats the purpose. The charm of instant communication is lost.
However, there are some who suffer from verbal diarrhoea. A simple ‘hi’, for example, can trigger a flood of responses when all you wanted to do was merely touch base. It was just your way of reminding the friend that you exist and that you have not forgotten the person. If I wanted to have a long exchange I would have said more than a casual hello. One needs to read between the lines.
I have noticed a lot of parents have climbed on the bandwagon as soon as they realised this was one way of keeping in touch with their children. They overcame their apprehension and were soon offered a peek into the lives of their youngsters. Of course, this medium is not to be abused as is evidenced by a barrage of questions being met with a stony silence.
Do not make the mistake of taking advantage of dissemination of instant updates. They will only reveal as much as they want. In fact, they are past masters in the use of code. While you diligently spell out each and every word and wonder how people have the patience for such an exercise, the reply you receive is replete with shorthand and emoticoms.
Then there are group chats. The nieces and nephews have formed one and, not to be outdone, the aunts and uncles have followed suit. But, in order to inject a bit of spice into their messaging, they have included the younger lot. In my family, there are many who consider themselves stand-up comedians. So, each response is met with sentences filled with puns or witticisms that are sometimes hard to follow if you have missed the earlier part of the conversation. Among siblings, it has proved a reliable way, however, of keeping informed about peripatetic relatives. They are the frequent travellers, criss-crossing the globe as if they were taking a walk to the other side of town.
So, be patient if you want to know what’s up with me. I’ll only answer when I feel I have something worthwhile to report.
