I hadn’t really thought about age and my looks before that time. I was who I was and I looked how I looked. But it wasn’t until a friend of mine approached the big 40 (me, a few smug years behind her) that I started to look at our increasing years in a different way. “Why me?” she wailed “I don’t want to get old” she continued, arms aloft, shrieking to the skies. We were in the high street and I wasn’t sure whether to walk away and deny I knew this woman or wrap her in my ’younger’ arms and tell her everything was going to be OK. But was it?

I tell my friend with an insincere smile that 40 is the new 30 and that she should embrace this age. “We’re lucky to be alive” I say with forced enthusiasm. “Enjoy being 40”. I shouldn’t have said her age again out loud. With this reminder came more wails and of course, stares from passing people. As she cried her face wrinkled like a paper bag and went a purple shade I’d only ever seen on 1970s curtains. Maybe she’s going to combust, I thought. At least she wouldn’t have to worry about reaching 41.

We’ve all said it; Age doesn’t matter. It’s how you feel that does. But to be honest, I think for a woman, age does matter. The days of waking up looking the same as when you went to bed with stretched, tight skin are gone. I now wake up to the face of a stranger who needs her face ironing before facing her public.

Ageing is when your body moves in another direction to the way you are actually moving and things wobble on their own accord, even when sitting down and being perfectly still. T-shirt sleeves get longer, hem lines start to go past the knee, and super large framed sunglasses are worn permanently, even when it’s overcast. You start every conversation with “when I was younger…” and realise the only people who can relate to your stories are the people with ‘laughter lines’ and age spots.

The usual intake of calories and average amount of exercise that you have done for years just doesn’t work anymore as your body clings on to everything you put into your mouth as if there was an approaching famine. ‘Saddle Bags, Muffin Tops, Bingo-Wings’ call them what you like but it all means the same thing to us gals. I’m sure gym membership for the over 40’s doubles every New Year as does the sale of ‘Smoothie Making machines’ for those detox diets. New ranges of skin care products adorn our supermarket shelves telling us ‘to use twice a day for a wrinkle free life’ and ‘take 10 years off your tired face’. Do marketing companies need to be quite so frank? Couldn’t they put a bit of fluff and sensitivity to their package speech. Don’t tell us how it is, tell us what we want to hear “You’re beautiful whatever age you are face cream”.

Nip and tuck

But it was when I saw a 50 per cent off a voucher for Botox sitting idly on a table in a dentist’s waiting room the other day I started to wonder if trying to rewind our years has now gone too far. Having the odd nip and tuck is so cheap, easy and accessible nowadays. In a few years, we’ll be popping a DIY Stretch Your Face Kit into our shopping basket along with our bottle of milk and toilet paper. What next?

I realise my friend is now slumped on the kerb, quivering and slowly coming to terms with her advancing years and all the menopausal delights to come. So I wonder, does ageing have to be that bad? Can we not just embrace our lines and wobbles and be free to wear what we like, feel how we want and behave as we wish? With age comes confidence, experience and a knowledge that life has so far been great and will only get better. So, let’s hold our double chins up high and let our loose skin flap in the wind and with our grey locks glinting in the summer sun, rejoice our coming years with all the energy and gusto we can. (I feel we’re going to need it as once the hot sweats start, I’m locking myself in a darkened room with a staple gun and super glue to see if my home face stretching kit is all it’s cracked up to be).

Charlotte K. Arrowsmith is an English language lecturer at the UAE University, Al Ain.