Opinion | Letters
November 11, 2006
Letters To The Editor - November 11, 2006
- Gulf News
- Published: 00:00 November 11, 2006
Marriage needs maturity
Pre-marital relationships have become more popular in recent years (Speak Your Mind, Gulf News, November 10).
In the earlier days, people in most communities had arranged marriages, where the society as a whole extends its support on such occasions. It's all about how deeply we understand our partner.
Marriage is a school in which each one of us has to learn the basics. We should have the maturity to understand and accept the reality of life.
In my opinion, love marriages do not have to be lasting ones just because the partners know each other before the actual marriage took place.
From Mr Ramachandran Nair
Oman
Gulf News Reader's Club member
No respect
An arranged marriage is more successful than a love marriage. It all depends on the level of sacrifice. But it also depends on the marriage.
Both arranged and love marriages have their ups and downs.
I have seen some love-marriage couples who always fight over small issues and the word "respect" is absent in their relationship.
In the opposite case, many are involved in an arranged marriage and as a result it lasts longer. In short, an arranged marriage is a more mature decision.
From Ms Shakila Tasnim Shimu
Abu Dhabi
More understanding
I feel arranged marriages are more successful, and to my knowledge these couples live happily.
The main reasons are that the marriages take place after parents see the boy's or girl's family background, reputation and education.
I have seen in arranged marriages respect for each other, understanding between each other and above all human and moral values. In love marriages, these qualities are less.
From Mr K. Ragavan
Ajman
Gulf News Reader's Club member
Children are smart
I don't think relationships before marriage help people better understand how to adjust to one another, because it depends upon the parents and how they treat their children.
It depends upon the child, too, but today's generation is very progressive. They know how to deal if a family is having problems.
From Ms Zaara Zulfiqar Baig
UAE
Know each other
A healthy pre-marital relationship enables couples to know each other and evaluate the strengths and weaknesses in their relationship.
This relationship assists in fostering and building an understanding, open communication, sharing and bonding. It is a phase of adjustment.
A mature relationship gives them a chance to reassess their choices. Love and relationships evolve with time.
A profound relationship is rooted and it helps couples commit to each other, which could blossom into a more fruitful marriage.
From Mr Trevor De Sousa
Dubai
Gulf News Reader's Club member
Other's needs
I think pre-marital relationships do give people a better understanding of the person they are with and what he or she is like.
So these relationships provide a chance for you to understand what the other person's needs are.
From Mr Amit Joshi
Sharjah
Don't believe
I accept pre-marital relationships because you need to know the person.
I would want to know more about the woman going to be my wife before we get married. I don't believe in arranged marriages.
From Reza Moghishe
Iran
Fall out of love
There is an excitement in an arranged marriage, where you get to know the person. In a love marriage you already know the person.
After a while you might simply fall out of love.
From Mr Sohail Khemani
Dubai
Parental support
I think arranged marriages are more successful. I would prefer an arranged marriage. I know my parents would be happy to choose a husband for me.
I will always have their backing if anything goes wrong.
From Ms Dipti Makwana
Dubai
Better success
I think love marriages are more successful than arranged ones. Again it depends on each person. But in love marriages both parties know and understand each other better.
In an arranged marriage everything is sudden and you don't know the person well.
From Mr Pramod Chandran
Dubai
Golden rules
Mine is a love marriage where we were engaged for seven years. This is the sixth year of our marriage and we are a happy couple surviving by a few golden rules:
To be happy in a marriage you must understand your husband a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with your wife, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
From Ms Hamriya Sameer
Abu Dhabi
Mr Perfect
I would opt for an arranged marriage, for I feel that when your choice is love marriage, you often tend to get starry eyed about marriage itself.
Then starts the search for 'Mr Perfect' who exists only in dreams.
This is what raises the expectations of people and could be one of the reasons why love marriages are more susceptible to divorce.
From Mr Tazeen Ahmed
Abu Dhabi
Marry for love
Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.
Love is a feeling, which is experienced best when you are married. Love marriages give us time to know the person with whom we have decided to spend our entire lives with.
We fall in love when we feel most comfortable being with the person and tend to understand each other better.
Pre-marital relationships do help you understand many aspects of life.
The concept of love is best understood when you spend your entire life with the person you have loved.
From Ms Nadia Iqbal
UAE
Editor's note:
To read more comments on various issues, log on to www.gulfnews.com/yoursay.
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