Opinion | Columnists
The power of saying 'No'
Before monsoons, every year the gardener was called in to dig up the soil, turn it inside out and leave it to dry out in the sun before mixing organic fertiliser and planting the new kitchen garden.
- By Suchitra Bajpai Chaudhary, Senior Features Writer, Friday
- Published: 00:55 March 30, 2008
Rebellion, defiance and resilience can be most inspiring when used in a measured way. I often admire the power of rejuvenation in nature. Have you ever tried to wipe out a wild weed or grass in your garden bed? You may have picked out every root and every blade and yet in the monsoons, a little green shoot makes its way deep from the bowels of the earth from some dormant seed that turns active and stretches its little green limbs. It pushes through rock, sometimes splitting its hard, grainy surface in two to bob out its little green head and proclaim its exhilarating victory.
Relentless and defiant is how I would also describe the colocasia bulbs we inadvertently planted in our backyard one summer. They not only turned out to be prolific in their multiplying capacity, they also proved to be stubborn and resilient in their resolve to stay put.
Before monsoons, every year the gardener was called in to dig up the soil, turn it inside out and leave it to dry out in the sun before mixing organic fertiliser and planting the new kitchen garden. However after the first shower, we would see one rebellious colocasia bulb raising its defiant head in the tomato patch and then another and another and another till the pumpkin, coriander, bean runner patches were overrun by numerous colocasias until we just had to give up and lay down our arms and think of ways of baking, frying, boiling colocasia for different recipes and distributing the spoils in the neighbourhood. Every year this exercise was repeated where we had two months of bliss when we could grow other vegetables and admire the tomatoes and the herb patch until the headstrong colocasia took over.
Perhaps that was a rebellion in excess, but since then my threshold level for arguments and counter arguments in sporadic episodes of defiance at home, has gone considerably up.
Most normal things
The most common is the dynamics of getting your children to do the most normal things - like getting a haircut or a nail trim at the right time or organising the book shelf and the room. At every step I am reminded of those stubborn colocasia bulbs when any humble proposal of mine is met with the firm and resolute "no". Things do get eventually done, but with a headstrong battle of words with the two. After agonising over this for many months, I have come to the conclusion that my boys simply have the need to assert their individualism and present their non conformism to me because that is their way of showing that all is healthy, alive and kicking on their front. Their defiance is not so much to be wild and unhindered as much as their need to demonstrate that they possess a point of view quite different to mine. That makes for the vibrant flow and counter-flow of thoughts and ideas at home.
For every issue we are bound to grapple with four different streams of thought and there is a well structured thesis, counter thesis, antithesis until I can savour sweet synthesis. Although some issues do give me agony. I am glad for this "colocasia-resilience" at home as I call it. This will help them be tough and fearless in the face of any threat for their future life.
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