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Dough-it-yourself
My wife," he said, a tad pompously, "is a gourmet cook! In a matter of minutes, she whips up exceptional meals,".
- By Mehmudah Rehman, Special to Gulf News
- Published: 23:30 November 21, 2008
My wife," he said, a tad pompously, "is a gourmet cook! In a matter of minutes, she whips up exceptional meals,". While saying this, he looked enquiringly at my husband, as though expecting him to start praising my endless culinary abilities too. We, however, generally avoid talking about my exploits in the kitchen and my husband tried politely, but unsuccessfully to change the topic.
The Perfect Couple (PC) and us, were dining at a restaurant together due to corporate reasons and the husband couldn't stop praising his eternally perfect wife. The PC is a human species that exist generally to make you feel bad about yourself.
The wife is usually a gorgeous super-woman-cum-power-mom, all rolled into one, and yeah, one must never forget her excellent cooking. The husband is a dynamic professional with a hefty salary and a six-pack and the kids are remarkably, read: irritatingly, perfect too - top of every class, and extraordinarily well-mannered.
When the husband brought up the subject of his wife's cooking again, my husband offered a small smile hoping the man would understand that I had much to learn in that department, and move on. But his wife appeared tactless or perhaps evil as she interjected, "and I'm sure you must be quite a cook too."
"Of course," I said, sarcastically. Never did I ever expect her to take my word for it and ask me what my specialty was. I sometimes make edible pizza, the crust, of course, is always one of those delightful packaged preprepared things, so I said that I, among other things, make good pizza.
"I just love pizza!" said the woman, and began asking me which recipe for the pizza-dough was the best (apparently, she knew three...) and before I knew it, the woman had cornered me and I ended up inviting the PC for a pizza party at home. On the day of the party, I remembered how the formidable wife had expressed extreme disapproval on the use of ready crusts and how easily you could tell the difference between a home-made crust and processed one, so I decided to prepare the pizza crust at home.
Daunting challenge
When a daunting challenge, such as this one, presents itself, I rise to the occasion. And the first step in rising to this one was calling the ever-reliable help-line called mom. After jotting down the exact recipe for pizza dough, I got to work and sure enough, the dough I prepared looked just right.
However, sadly, the dough, despite my most sincere efforts did not rise, not even a little - and off to the supermarket I ran. I had no choice but to purchase the ready crusts and once that was done, I prepared the toppings and baked the pizzas.
It was relief as well as cautious delight for me when the PC and my own spouse truly enjoyed the pizzas. I did however; disappear mysteriously every time the wife asked me about the crust recipe. She dwelled on how perfectly it had risen and that she herself had never got it this good. But my proudest moment came in the aftermath of the party.
"Wow! You really outdid yourself," my husband said. He had seen me toiling away in the kitchen nearly all day, and he had been genuinely impressed when he saw me kneading pizza dough. "Of course, you did it all yourself?" he enquired. I considered telling him about the fiasco, but then I realised he had been away when I had gone out for the crust.
What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him, so I simply nodded. I noticed him smiling a peculiar smile and I wondered if he could somehow have known. That was when the man said, amused, "Oh, and if I were you, I'd throw the empty pizza crust boxes in the main garbage chute down the hall, not the kitchen." So he had known, all along. I guess you can't have the cake and eat it - or, in this case, the pizza!
Mehmudah Rehman is a freelance writer based in Dubai.
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