Lascaux in France is a world heritage site and contains the finest examples of palaeolithic art drawn by early man some 30,000 years ago. And like most viewers who tuned in to watch the football at Euro 2016, I was surprised to learn that Neanderthals are not extinct as was thought, but are alive, well, and thriving in the dive bars of Marseille.
Knuckle draggers of the world unite, there’s a football tournament and it’s time for drinking, puking and fighting in the streets: Football Hooliganism lives.
For the past week, fans from mostly England and Russia have managed to create a new reign of terror on French streets. From the Old Port of Marseille, into the Stade Velodrome itself, and now Lille, the yobs have had a field day. Granted, the events that took place inside the Stade Velodrome were the doing of Russian fans alone. Their nation’s football association has been fined 150,000 euros (Dh614,003) and had a suspended disqualification slapped on it. Should there be a repeat inside a stadium, the suspended terms of the punishment will be lifted and disqualification will apply.
But should a football association be held accountable for the morons who want to drink, fight, riot, kick, punch and engage in activities, that would make those Neanderthals proud? In this regard, the organisers of the tournament were lacking themselves. After two days of rioting on the streets of Marseille, and with warning from experienced police spotters that Russian fans were kitted up and squaring up for a faceoff, French officials failed to ensure that England and Russia fans were appropriately separated.
For the record, ‘kitted up’ means that the fans were packing mixed martial arts fighting gloves, carried fanny packs with brass knuckles or other similar implements, and were carrying cartons of long-life milk — a street-smart antidote to tear gas fired by the police.
And for the record, “appropriately seggregated” means having the opposing fans cordoned off by a line of stewards and police, as well as columns of empty seats. But this costs money — both for the stewards, the pay duty officers and in lost potential revenue from those seats.
Look at any top football game played in any league across Europe or South America, and these measures are in place as a matter of course. But with all of the focus on geopolitical terror, it seems as if tournament organisers forgot about the commoner garden hooligan.
Down through the years, I’ve had many live encounters with these vermin — some too close for comfort. I once had the misfortune of having to spend an overnight bus trip from London to Newcastle in England, and the only two other people on the bus were a couple of young drunks. The two were supporters of London-based Premier League football side Tottenham Hotspur, and were making the journey north to appear in Magistrates Court on charges of causing an affray and being drunk and disorderly — all arising out of their team’s visit to St James’ Park a few weeks before. In my book, they were guilty of being drunk and disorderly on the bus. I’d add on an extra charge of idiocy as well.
‘Cracked heads’
I was there for the February 1995 riot at Lansdowne Road, where England fans ripped up seats and the game against Ireland had to be abandoned. The Gardai, or Irish police, weighed in with batons flailing and, in the local vernacular, “cracked heads”. Just as the French police did this past week in Marseille.
Let’s face it: Hooliganism has been a part of the game for the past 50 years. Why? Supporting a football team enflames passions, moulds your identity and your mundane life is lived vicariously through the idols on the pitch. At club level, the preparations are well practised and put in place for every fixture. When it comes to international tournaments, national pride is added into that heady mix of passion and identity. Sunshine too and strange beverages make for a mix that boorish brats abroad can’t cope with. Besides, they’ll tell, “we’re only having a laugh.”
That’s cold comfort to the family of a fan who is in critical condition, afteer having been kicked and stomped about the head multiple times and whose brain is swollen. Or for the kin of a Northern Ireland fan who died after falling running from these hooligans.
But this is all child’s play right now. Wait until Russia hosts the World Cup in two years’ time. Ya ain’t seen nothin’ yet.
