It's time to draw up a set of rules to help me cope with predicaments encountered at the workplace. The ones I am going to describe may seem trivial but they are what I come across daily.

I remember in school, there was a right way and a wrong way of negotiating stairs. The joy felt at the end of a class or the school day normally found expression in whoops of joy and a stampede. But our exuberance was denied this natural outlet as the teachers positioned themselves in convenient niches and corners to catch us out.

As soon as we spotted one of these ‘spies', our run converted into a decorous walk. But that wasn't enough for these arbiters of what constituted ladylike behaviour.

We were directed to keep to the left when coming down while those going up were to position themselves on the right side of the staircase. So, we quelled the impulse to make a dash for freedom and slowed our steps to a sedate pace as long as we were within sight. Although we would rather die than admit it, these rules did help in minimising collisions and chaos at the end of the day or while moving from one class to another.

Using the stairs

At the workplace many have committed to using the stairs between floors. Invariably, as you start to descend, you come across someone making their way up. That's when the shuffle begins. Anticipating the climber's next step, you move to the right, only to find your movement being imitated. Am I unconsciously sending out a message, "Copy my moves"? After a minute or two of this copycat game, a silent understanding is reached and the journeys are resumed without further mishap.

I propose the imposition of rules regarding the use of staircases. In Tube stations in London one automatically moves to the right on the escalators to avoid being crushed underfoot by those who have exactly ten seconds to sprint to the next platform. So, why not adopt the practice here?

After a long walk in the heat and humidity (since you are now forced to park miles away from the workplace), is it rude to stab the button of the elevator frantically as soon as you reach the lift?

Under normal circumstances, you would have bounded up the stairs but the long trek has exhausted you. Should you feel guilty when the door magically opens and you see the resigned expression on the faces of those inside? Should one apologise for the intrusion or consider it par for the course?

Then there are times when you are lost in thought or busy on your mobile and find yourself in the lift only to find yourself going nowhere. After a while, you begin wondering why you aren't reaching your floor.

Has the lift slowed down? That's when the penny drops and you realise you've forgotten to press the appropriate button. Feeling foolish, you do the needful and are soon whisked away to your destination.

Should there be a taped reminder of the next course of action such as "Dear rider, please press button 1 for the first floor"? Or is that too much to ask?

What about the protocol to be observed when nearing a door? When you hear footsteps behind you, should you gauge the distance from the intensity of the sound before deciding whether or not to keep the door open and wait for the person to catch up or should you pretend you never heard a thing and let the door slam behind you?

Will that action of yours be misconstrued as a deliberate act or will it go unnoticed?

Perhaps all of these tricky situations are only figments of a fertile imagination but I want solutions to these perplexing dilemmas.