It seemed like a perfect job for me but the remuneration did not reflect the high anxiety that would surely be part of the day’s work.

The job was to help manage the Queen’s social media accounts and I seemed to have all the relevant qualifications. I have been Tweeting for a while and know which words to use that draw in people and get those ‘impressions’ that are so important for Google Analytics.

I quickly checked my CV and luckily remembered that you send a résumé to a North American employer and a curriculum vitae to the British Queen, though I think the word is French. (A CV is two pages long and lists all your achievements including the awards that you received, while a résumé is just a one-pager and is a summary of your strengths.

Before I clicked on the ‘send’ button I checked whether the money offered was enough for my family to sustain ourselves. The annual salary was listed as £30,000, which is Dh137,513, a big drop from what I was getting as a senior reporter and editor.

In Indian rupees it is Rs2.51 million, which is a pittance compared to what a CEO of Infosys gets. It may have been okay if I was single and did not have a life and subsisted on shawarma or dal roti and a weekly treat of a Dh1 icecream cone. An acquaintance then advised me against applying for the job saying that it will give me huge anxiety.

“It’s like a PR company,” she said. “You may first have to get the Tweet you plan to post passed by the boss in charge of the Queen’s communications, and then by the Queen herself, and by the time all that is done your Tweet would have been outdated,” she said.

“Why can’t the Queen be like US President Donald Trump who Tweets the first thing that comes to his mind? That’s what communication is about today,” I said. “That’s what makes a decisive leader,” I said. “You say what you wish to convey and never mind the consequences,” I said.

“Imagine what the world reaction would be if the Queen said, ‘Trump?! Is that a noun or a verb?’ on her Twitter account,” said the PR person. “You would be sacked immediately and you will not get any huge compensation for doing a lousy job either, like so many people in the media industry,” she said.

I continued reading the advert and it said the right candidate must be university educated with an “eye to the future” and experience of managing websites.

“Dad, you don’t know the difference between a website and a blog,” said my son. “It says here the Queen has 2.7 million Twitter followers. If you make one mistake you will create chaos.”

“And having your work shared around the world will be the biggest reward,” said the advert.

I read about the employment perks and it said that I would get 33 days of annual holidays, including bank holidays and free lunch.

“Wait?! Free Lunch!” I said. “That means I can’t work from home from here. I will have to travel to the UK and may have to work from a cold dungeon in Buckingham Palace, with a tiny heater, from an ancient desk, a wifi connection that is dodgy and drinking weak tea. I am not even a fan of British cuisine. Fish and chips is so overrated,” I said.

“Think of it as an adventure,” said my wife. “You always wished to see the Kohinoor Diamond since you say it’s from your hometown. Maybe the Queen will allow you to see it,” said my wife.

“You can put on your CV later that you were the Queen’s Twerp,” she said.

“Twitter,” I said.

Mahmood Saberi is a freelance journalist based in Dubai. You can follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/ mahmood_saberi