Did you remember birthdays and anniversaries before the telecom boom? Anticipation usually built up over at least a week as letters and cards came in with the postman, and you — and everyone else in the house — were reminded that a big day was coming up.

On the day itself, you would awaken with a sense of excitement, wondering what the hours ahead had in store for you. If you had someone who could do the honours in the kitchen, there could be a surprise breakfast in bed, complete with a red rose in a crystal vase and a loving card for you to go through as you sipped your tea or coffee.

Your siblings or your parents could surprise you with an art kit or a set of craft books that they knew would bring you years of joy. Or, if you were in another phase of life, there could be an armful of your own kids and a pile of hand-made gifts and drawings to take pride of place on the mantelpiece and a permanent place in your heart and in your memory.

From time to time, during the rest of the day, you would probably ruminate over the fun and the folly of the past year and make plans and resolutions for the year ahead.

Later, there could also be a surprise party — and you would spend the next week or more reliving it as you stashed the presents you received or used them, and still later, you would take your time thanking those who had sent greetings from afar.

That was then.

Today, a birthday or an anniversary has us glued to our cell phones. Anyone and everyone calls up — and spends a good five to ten minutes each ‘catching up’. Conversations are more or less stereotyped and we repeat — and repeat — details of our activities until we wish we had recorded a message to avoid getting hoarse as we say the same old thing over and over ...

The day is full of disturbance and distraction. We talk to one person on the cell phone and someone else calls on the landline. We get three dozen WhatsApp messages and three times that number of greetings on FaceBook and a few SMSes and emails to boot.

We could be putting that last-minute cake into the oven, we could be in the midst of entertaining unexpected visitors, we could be entering the house to that loud ‘Surprise’ and friends jumping up from behind sofas ... we could be doing anything, but that phone does not stop pinging or ringing.

And we feel honour-bound to address every message that stares us in the face.

It may seem that we are immensely popular and that we are lucky to be remembered — but somehow, by the end of the day, all those conversations are a haze, we have no idea which friend or relative called and which didn’t — even if we are keeping count, which we are unlikely to have the energy to do ...

Our eyes ache, our ears buzz, our exhaustion carries over into the next day, we are thankful birthdays/anniversaries come just once a year — and we long for a return to the ‘good old days’.

When it didn’t matter that our closest friend’s card reached us three days ‘late’ or our newest acquaintance sent her greetings three days ‘early’. When the time of celebration stretched out and prolonged itself and for a good fortnight or so we were on a happy high — and in communion with those who cared about us and whom we cared about.

Those were the days, my friend ... Why did we allow ourselves to lose all recollection of all that was good about them? Why did we let technology blow it away?

Cheryl Rao is a freelance journalist based in India.