There seems to be a day for everything. We all are familiar with Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and, of course, D-Day. Then there is Rare Disease Day on February 28.

But did you know that there is a World Sparrow Day, a Day of Silence and a Self-Injury Awareness Day? And how about International No Diet Day? This intrigues me. Does that mean that one can binge on that day without feeling guilty? If that is what it means, it is good news for all of us who love feeding our faces.

For all you coffee addicts, there is also an International Coffee Day. Celebrate the day by downing as many mugs as you want until you bounce off the walls. There is also a World Toilet Day and I can only hope that this day promotes awareness of the importance of proper sanitation facilities in countries that lack the same.

Who decides what to celebrate and when? Is it a unanimous decision or does it have to be certified by some authority? Perhaps some are the brainchild of individuals at a loose end who think of the weirdest things which they feel have not got the attention they deserve.

In light of this theory, I am going to propose a few. They might catch on and be observed annually. If so, remember you read it here first.

My first suggestion would be a day to celebrate sloth. Be as lazy as you want, sleep and procrastinate as much as you want, and know that you have global sanction. All too often our conscience will not allow us to lie in bed too late as thoughts of things to be done haunt our memory and mar the simple pleasure of doing nothing and feeling good about it.

For those who are stressed out, how about a full 24 hours to rail and rant and let off steam without having to consider the feelings of others? Maybe punching bags and swear rooms can be placed in public locations where you can vent your hostility and animosities. There will be no restraining your innermost impulses and lashing out will be considered therapeutic.

For dog lovers, there can be a day when all their wishes are fulfilled. They can run amok, roll in specially laid out mud, chew everything in sight and chase the neighbour’s cat without fear of being reprimanded.

Children can have their day too. For a whole 24 hours they can do as they please, when they please or choose to do nothing at all. There shall be no threats of being grounded or reminders of impending exams or unfinished homework.

How about a corny joke day when people are obliged to exchange the silliest jokes they know, the kind that make you groan when you hear them? Or a day when you are allowed to be as surly as you want with no obligation to observe the societal niceties or being asked what’s bitten us? Let us indulge our ill humour and feel free to be as nasty as we want just for a day.

And what could be better than ‘don’t go to work if you don’t feel like it day’. This day should free you from having to make excuses or feign sickness just because you don’t feel like being confined to the workplace. In fact, perhaps several of these days a year might just do the trick and keep us all happy. It might even make us look forward to going to work if we know we have recourse to these ‘off’ days without having to produce a medical certificate or strain our brain to justify not reporting to work.

I could go on but I fear that the one day that I won’t be getting right now is ‘goof off’ day. So, sadly, this article has to be finished and submitted.