Dubai: It is never about the sex. It’s all about power and control.
It didn’t matter whether she was two or 13 or 50 years old. It didn’t matter that he was a teacher, her father or a complete stranger.
It does matter, however, that in every single case – rape won.
Dr Lavina Ahuja, a Counselling Psychologist at LifeWorks Counselling and Development in Dubai, says some rapists see rape as justified revenge or their right as men to control women.
“A few other rapists blame the victims,” Dr Ahuja said. “The rapists consider themselves as justified as they believe the victim was 'asking for it' or that the victim actually enjoyed it.”
The victim never asks for it. The rapist just believes she does. That, of course is a "rape myth".
Let’s break another myth – there is no such thing as a typical rapist. He could be the person you are about to marry, the one sitting next to you in class or at a cinema theatre. He could be the waiter serving you at a restaurant or the man quietly mopping the floor in your workplace corridor. He could even be your favourite uncle or your husband.
It could be any, or all, or none of the above.
One thing that is a common thread in all such cases is the rapists’ point of view. “Almost all rapists view the rape victim as a sex object. They often attack women who they perceive to be weak or someone who cannot defend herself,” said Dr Muhammad S. Tahir, Medical Director Health- Call DHCC and Consulting Psychiatrist, American Centre for Psychiatry, in Dubai.
In some cases, Dr Tahir adds that a potential trigger could also be rejection of a sexual overture or the manner in which a woman chooses to dress. A point that is debatable.
Something that is not debatable, however, is the statistics.
According to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN), in the US alone, an average of 207,754 victims get sexually assaulted every year.
That’s one rape every two minutes.
In 80 per cent of the cases, the victims were women under 30 years of age.
Over the past few weeks, India has erupted in protests after a 23-year-old woman was gang-raped by six men on a moving bus in the heart of the nation’s capital – Delhi. She is now fighting for her life, with her condition deteriorating with each passing day.
This is not the first such case of brutal assault. It’s probably not the last either.
According to RAINN, sexual assault is one of the most under reported crimes. As per a statistical average of the past five years, in out of a 100 cases of rapes/sexual assaults in the US, only 46 got reported, with only 12 leading to an arrest.
Out of those who got arrested, nine were prosecuted while fewer still earned a felony conviction.
In simpler terms, 97% of the rapists will never spend a day in jail.
So what is it that makes a monster out of a man? Experts narrow it down to four criteria - History. Isolation. Anger. Impulse.
“For the power-assertive rapist or the anger-retaliation rapist, being angry at a woman or being insulted (or perceiving an insult) by a woman would be a significant trigger. In that instance, rape would occur, not necessarily as a sexual act, but as a tool for asserting power and to humiliate,” Dr Ahuja said.
An abuser’s history is also a key criteria. If a man has faced abuse as a child, there is a greater tendency for him to force others to experience the same.
In such cases, “the abused becomes the abuser”.
“It may also stem from an inability to form sexually satisfying relationships and poor interpersonal skills. This type of a rapist may rape to fulfil a fantasy of a proper relationship with the victim,” Dr Ahuja said.
Another important factor to take into account is the mental health of the perpetrator.
“Rapists usually have a lot of social issues, resulting in unresolved anger and hatred. Substance abuse or drug addiction increases the tendency for such people to indulge in rape, too,” Dr Tahir said.
Experts strongly advise people to identify but not isolate the abuser. To make the man out of the monster.
“It is important to help such people as they are not normal. Loneliness combined with a sexually deviant nature can lead to a vicious cycle. Fight rape but don’t isolate the rapist.”
