Dubai: Dubai’s ultra-modern, comfortable and high-quality lifestyle has proven to be a magnet for expatriates who end up settling down in the city to which they once came only to visit or simply have a fleeting relationship with. And when they do settle down, many of them believe that time here is moving at a really fast pace. The saying ‘time flies when you’re having fun’ finds much traction in this context.
This dynamic city, which is home to more than 200 nationalities, provides expats with a comfortable, stable and secure life, with every imaginable convenience, which can alter their long-term objectives, causing many expatriates to focus on the ‘now’, said experts. And this easy comfort with the ‘now’ can often lull people into lagging behind in meeting their long-term goals or even ignoring them. Obviously, there are consequences to this neglect which can be avoided.
“With many expats, once they decide to move to Dubai, their perception has already surrendered to the idea of change. They are already living the dream and are very keen to make it work,” said Gaby Hanania, Neuro-Linguistic Programming life coach, explaining why many expatriates take their eyes off the long-term goal.
To begin with, coming to live in Dubai is in itself a main goal for many expatriates and when they arrive here, they begin living in the present. “Once they are in Dubai, they have succeeded in hitting their main target. They are living in a city that is more ambitious than their dreams and more energetic than their will, and more successful than their worries — so they feel at home, relaxed, secure, successful, happy and are living their dreams comfortably,” explained Hanania.
“If it is a dream come true, why leave?”
According to the DWF survey, many expatriates find that living in Dubai makes them believe that time flies faster here than if they were to be living back home. Hanania explained this notion to be caused by the passion behind people’s determination to reach their goals in Dubai.
She explained that the factors that make life seem like it’s moving faster, and that one is not in control of this pace, are an individual’s limitations, negative emotions, generalisations [of issues], perceptions of life, and comfort zones. “All these conditions are in our mind,” said Hanania. And all these conditions can be combated successfully with self-awareness.
“Once we know what we want, we will achieve all our goals. Once we have planned our life perfectly to reach happiness, happiness will open its arms and help us surrender to our mission,” said Hanania.
The most important discipline, according to her, is the need to create a balance in life and make space for priorities when time seems to be moving too fast.
“We need to plan our time, design our lives, create our memories and live our dreams. It is all in the mind.”
The interesting thing about living in the now is that it is a double-edged concept. Just as living in the present can pull you back from looking towards the horizon, it can also lend your mind sharp focus to plan your life moment by moment.
“It is all in the now and it is all in our consciousness,” said Hanania. “Focus on your short-term and long-term goals, then enjoy the ride,” she added.
It’s a parallel journey
So how should you keep both the short-term and long-term goals in sight?
“On your way to your long-term goal, you have to first pass through a number of short-term goals. You may achieve your short-term goals without obstacles until you achieve your long-term goal, or you may not. Let us pretend that you achieved your first short-term goal and in the middle of the process, you had to change your strategy and therefore, you also had to change your strategy about your long-term goal. So what? No need to stress yourself about the ‘failure’ because it is not a failure, it’s adaptation,” says Gaby Hanania, Neuro-Linguistic Programming life coach.
By not losing sight of this parallel journey, it is possible to be in the present and fully enjoy it while preparing for your future.
“No need to get anxious about the future,” says Hanania. “It is very important to be the hero of your own story and not get affected by the judgement of others because it does not matter what they think. What matters is you and only you.”
How do you slow down time?
Dr Saliha Afridi, clinical psychologist and director of LightHouse Arabia in Dubai, pointed out that expats tend to stay longer in Dubai and lose perception of time because they have access to a lot of support and luxuries in Dubai, which makes life very comfortable. “I think in Dubai, people do a lot but they don’t connect with a lot of what they are doing — this can actually speed up the perception of time because people lead very busy lives but are not as engaged with their lives as they could be,” explained Dr Afridi.
One reason why time seems to have acquired giant wings is technology. Dr Afridi refers to technology as the factor that is redefining people’s relationship with time. “We have no space for silence, no time for connection and so we go through the days a bit zoned/spaced out. This makes for the perception that time is moving faster,” she added.
Research shows that the less mindful you are, the faster your perception of time, Dr Afridi added.
“The more detailed your memories, the more you notice and experience of your time, the slower time moves,” she said.
Time also moves a lot slower when a person is younger because their mind is less fragmented and they can actually be in the moment and enjoy the moment, she added.
“As we get older, two things start to happen. One, we cram a lot more into our time and busy ourselves. Two, we start to have ‘repetition suppression’ which is when we do the same things everyday, so we are less engaged, and operating on autopilot. Both these ways lead to the perception that time is moving faster. Additionally, because of technology, we are also recording moments, and not really engaging with them. We are relying on the video so we don’t notice or connect with the moment as deeply as we could,” she said.
Four ways to slow down time
Dr Afridi suggests four practices when they begin to feel that their lives are moving too quickly.
1) Turn off technology. This is an effective way to slow down time in this day and age. “You would be surprised how time slows down when you turn off your phone and start to engage with your environment,” she said.
2) Take mental snapshots as opposed to taking pictures with your phone when at a party or a family together. Dr Afridi explained that trying to memorise how you felt, what you saw, what people were wearing, and what things smelt like, is a great experience. Paying attention to the details of an environment will slow down time automatically as a person is operating from a mindful and engaged space.
3) Learn mindfulness and meditation. “Research shows the best way to slow down time is to be in the moment. Time slips by when we are in our thoughts and planning for the future.”
4) Try out new things. This can also slow the perception of time’s movement. This is because people’s perception of time expands when we do something novel, said Dr Afridi. “This might mean you take a new route to work or wear your watch on the opposite hand or travel to new places and engage in new experiences,” she said.
