Domestic abuse is painful reality in some families

Abu Dhabi: Abu Dhabi, a world class city renowned for its strong foundation of traditional Arab and Islamic values, prosperity and cosmopolitan citizenry, is an oasis where dreams are fulfilled. Although poised to remain a model of success, it is not immune to social issues that effect many cultures.

Domestic abuse seems to be one of the social diseases affecting the lives of Abu Dhabi families.

Natasha (all names have been changed), is a 32-year-old British mother of two who lives in Abu Dhabi, and has recently finalised a divorce from her now ex-husband, an Emirati.

"My husband blamed me for spoiling my children and called me a ‘useless' mother. He'd get angry about every little thing. He forced me to quit my job as he said I interacted with too many men. He yelled everyday, getting more and more insulting. Then one day, he slapped our son. He then turned and hit me too, several times. That night, bruised and aching, I took both my sons and went to stay at my parents' house," she told Gulf News.

Lama is a Lebanese woman living in Abu Dhabi and faces a similar situation with her Lebanese husband.

"He is always unsatisfied, as though he is angry with the world. My husband is always putting me down, and I have been subject to violence from him on three different occasions. He gave me such a battering once that I had to go to the hospital for treatment and discovered he'd left a permanent mark on my vertebral column," said Lama.

"I refuse to report it. I stay with him for my children's sake. I don't want them to grow up watching their parents arguing in court," she added.

"Physical abuse is practically non existent in the Emirati society. The high rate of divorce is mostly a result of problems of ignorance between two partners; they might lack experience and knowledge on how to run a married life, or are unable to fully take on their personal responsibilities," said RM from Women's Union in Abu Dhabi.

Dr Padmaraju Varrey, Senior Psychiatrist at New Medical Centre (NMC) in Abu Dhabi has confirmed they receive complaints of spousal abuse.

"We get about five women every month. Their complaints vary from verbal and emotional abuse, like being constantly put down or yelled at, to physical abuse, which is more common. The women tend to be depressed, battered and in lots of pain," he said.

"We provide psychotherapy and individual counselling, as well as couple counselling when possible. Unfortunately though, our services only work some of the time. Seventy per cent of the time, the marriage is doomed after abuse."

— With inputs from Mayar Raouf, Staff Reporter