If the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix only coming around once a year is simply not good enough for you, then the fact that the Yas Viceroy can provide you with all your trackside thrills and spills 365 days a year should go some way to placating all manner of gearhead. Couldn't be less interested in watching boys in their toys race around the scorching tarmac? Don't worry, there's plenty to keep us non-petrolheads entertained too.
First up, I'll admit, it took us two hours to get to the Yas Viceroy from Dubai. That surrounding road, with all its gate numbers (6, 17, 59, 2!) those Yas ‘East' and Yas ‘West' options, and that leisure drive route all combined to lead us on a not-so-merry dance past the same security guard at the Yas Marina Circuit gate five times. In the end, even he stopped seeing the funny side of it.
After checking in, we hit up our Marina Deluxe Room, with a great track view where I immediately mentally ticked off my hotel room obsessions, 1) Size and envy-inducement of bathroom 2) Presence of an iron and ironing board (I have to have one, don't you?), and 3) The tea and coffee making facilities. I'll elaborate, hotel bathrooms are always exactly how I'd like my bathroom to look at home if I had the space for a sliding glass door and a phone in the loo, rather than just room for a jar to keep my cotton buds in. Concerning point no. 2, there wasn't one in the room, but a swift call to housekeeping soon solved that, and re: the tea and coffee, yes, there were those lovely silky tea bags that make you feel a bit more decadent when making a brew than the bog-standard perforated types - you know the ones I mean!
Spacious and airy, we also loved the retro-style chairs in the seating area and the calming atmos of the room, plus the scenic TV option, which shows a peaceful waterfall swirling against a backdrop of soothing music.
But as is my wont on my weekends away, I'm all about hitting the pool asap to top up my tan. Choose between two pools at the Yas Viceroy - there's a more family-oriented one and a more grown-up one (Hello, grown-ups pool!) - where you can either bag a spot under an umbrella poolside, or sun worship (like us) on the loungers. Plus, make sure you while away your post-lunch afternoon on one of the circular day beds with book, kindle or (obvs!) copy of Scene in hand. Making your poolside experience even better, espesh in this heat, was the free ice lollies, along with the cold hand towels that get doled out by the staff to cool you down under the AD heat. Although, and no disrespect to our fellow sunbathers, please don't drape the hand towel over your head and sit there looking like an English dad at Brighton beach circa 1955 like they did - it's not a good look at the YV!
Lunch is not your usual chips-by-the-pool fare, and the crab cakes are to be highly recommended by moi - but be warned, it's a monster dish of four and I had to begrudgingly share with Mr Gemma. Chips? Yes, of course I had some. Oh and PS, if you fancy topping up your refreshment poolside, opt for the Just Dream mocktail.
Heading back to the room for some much-needed (ha!) laying-down-with-book time (and trying not to get sucked in to settling in for the night to watch Ferris Bueller's Day Off on OSN Movies), it was time to get ready for dinner at their seafood restaurant, Nautilus. With a choice of seven restaurants to pick from, including Indian cuisine at Angar, Japanese bites at Kazu and an international feast at Origins, Nautilus is a high-end experience from the bowing sculptures welcoming you in, to the Legends of Street Art collection - featuring works from Banksy, Shepard Fairey and UAE-based Saif B Chilmiran among others - in the hotel's Light Box Gallery in the Marina Wing, which we passed by on the way to dinner.
Bathed in soft blue light, Nautilus boasts well-spaced tables providing dining privacy, and for starters, we went with the Tuna Tasting - sliced marinated tuna with citrus, tartar cumin chili, tataki black pepper and pickled ginger - and the Wild asparagus - served with red onion confit and leek macchiato - with the Crispy prawns and Crab cocktail getting the ‘We'll have that next time' treatment. Service is attentive, yet laid-back, so our 8.30pm reservation turned into an 11pm exit from the dinner table, after mains of Caramelised black cod and Free-range corn-fed chicken; after which we headed up to Skylite for after-dinner drinks.
Bordering on empty when we got there, the rooftop space filled up pretty soon after our arrival (they must have heard we were there… or rather more likely, a show ended at Flash Forum), as patrons gathered on the comfy sofas and in the booths for cocktails and mocktails, with the roar of the cars on the F1 track rising up from the tarmac. A word of warning for early-to-bedders here, cars were still racing at this time, so pack your earplugs if your not heading to Skylite or Rush.
With breakfast being served in Origins, as Mr Gemma nipped off for a round of golf, I decided to treat myself to room service, whilst catching Ferris for about the hundredth time, before my One-hour intensive facial at Espa - a paean to R&R, where I like to picture race fans such as Naomi Campbell or Kelly Brook relaxing after a hard day's pit-stop posing. Finally, after an accommodating late checkout, it was time to go and drive by our bemused security guard on the mega ring road again - but just the once this time.
The HOTel list
Flavours of the Orient
South-East Asian food fans will be in their element in June, when Noodle Box celebrate the Betawi traditions of Jakarta, with a special menu running until the 22nd. Sample Gado Gado Jakarta, Soto Betawi and Es The Manis, before following up with some Singaporean Crab Week dishes from June 23-30.
Madonna Madness
In celebration of the Material Girl jetting in to Abu Dhabi, Skylite bar will be hosting a pre-Madonna party on the 3rd and 4th of June, with 80s music and themed cocktails, along with beds arranged around the rooftop in honour of Madge's fab 1994 release, Bedtime Stories - pyjamas optional.
The Spa Promo
Step into Espa and you probably won't want to leave, and we recommend their special June promotion, which will get you a complimentary Express Facial for every Deep Cleansing Back Treatment booked - treatment for one person.
