I will not get into details, but let me just put it this way — Nabeel was never good with his math and yet he never failed a class," laughs Samir Seddiqi, talking of his brother Nabeel.
Firas Abu Hassan has similar tales to tell of his brother, Nizar. "I was always good at math and Nizar at orals. But we always got the best marks in all subjects," he says.
You would think that these are siblings who help each other study. They are actually identical twins who were naughty enough to swap places to support each other's school results.
"Our teachers asked to change our class, but our father did better and put us in different schools. But we still didn't stop swapping places during exams, if only to thwart our parents for separating us," Firas laughs.
Come one, come all
We were at the X2 multiples meet at Safa Park last weekend where more than 3,000 people, including 300 sets of twins, triplets and quadruplets ranging from a few weeks to 51 years of age, came together over two days. And it was quite clear that the 32-year-old Seddiqis and the 26-year-old Abu Hassans were enjoying being there just as much as the toddlers running around.
Swapping places during exams is just one example of not being able to tell identical multiples apart — even for parents. Many parents do what Firas and Nizar's parents did — they put a band on Firas's arm, the older of the two by two minutes. Other parents resort to painting a toenail or a fingernail, or colour-coding their clothes. But eventually, they start noticing slight differences between the children, such as a small mole or the shape of the eyes, nose, hands, etc.
Mark of distinction
"Our parents mixed us up all the time," laughs Nabeel, who, with Samir, won the "most identical twins" competition at the event. "We have a common nickname — Two-Two. Our parents call out for Two-Two and whoever is nearby responds. And sometimes we both respond and at times we take turns. How are we different, physically? Well, a couple of years back Samir chipped his front tooth, so you could tell us apart. But the dentist fixed that."
The comedy of errors happens often, says Bassam Saadih. "We have a lot of funny situations, but we cannot say we help each other because we are being naughty together. However, we've had this situation where one of us has promised to give something to someone, and if he hasn't given it, they catch hold of the other, even if the person doesn't know him. Especially now that we live in different cities [Bassam lives in Dubai and Basel in Abu Dhabi], we run into people who know the other brother."
"We've been up to a lot of stuff that we cannot mention here," says Nizar, while Firas relates a tale of their fighting a man who had insulted Nizar once back home in Lebanon. "The poor guy didn't know what hit him as Nizar punched him and he fell back into my arms. He never troubled us again," Firas says.
Surprisingly, most twins end up in the same profession as well. Bassam and Basel are both architects, while Samir and Nabeel run their family business.
"Why?" Samir says, "because we were always keen on joining our business, and we are big car enthusiasts. It sort of helped our cause to choose this as our profession."
"Yes, we studied architecture and are doing our masters now. But we really did not decide on it. It only happened because we had the same grades that allowed us to enter the field, and we passed all related exams together," Basel says.
Naughtiness aside, true twins, or other multiples, have always been a source of joy, especially to the parents — but then they bring a bigger responsibility with them as well.
"Having twins is the best thing that can happen to someone. They are such a joy," says Mandy Sime, mother of 1-year-old fraternal twins Cameron and Mckinzie. Sime is an older mum who has waited long to have babies after a lot of IVF treatment. "I'm lucky to have such well-behaved babies and a helping husband, for I have no family here."
Lamees Al Jamal needs all the help she can get with her 2-month-old triplets. "I have my mother and sisters with me, and a housemaid. I couldn't have done it alone," says the Dubai-based legal coordinator, who doesn't have the luxury of leaving her job.
Nathalie Attar, a co-organiser of the X2 multiples meet, agrees that help is very necessary. "I have had my parents over when the babies were born, and now have my mother-in-law with me, apart from a house help. The support is very essential," Attar says. "In fact, it was when I was pregnant with the twins that my older son's swimming instructor — who was also pregnant at the time — had advised me the same, and I tell everyone this too. After two months of sleep deprivation, you will realise how essential it is. Also, for me the big challenge is travelling with three kids almost the same age, because they all need to be carried," Attar says.
Being with dad
Though Sime, Attar and Al Jamal agree that the fathers help and are "over the moon" with the multiple births, the interaction really begins once the babies are a little older.
"My husband may have been prepared for multiple births, given our family history," says Attar, whose mum is a twin and her husband has seven twins in his family. "But you are never really prepared for all the responsibility, and, in general, a man starts enjoying the babies more once they can interact with him."
"My husband is the third kid when he's with my kids," Sime says.
"My husband is happy but worries about the expenses. Even though we wish to spend more time with them, it is difficult," Al Jamal says.
Identical twins have always been seen as very close. Some say it's because they have the same DNA, but this closeness is possible in any sibling, even between any two people, and has no real scientific data to prove it.
Yet, Samir and Nabeel, Firas and Nizar, and Bassam and Basel all claim they are the closest, even when they have other siblings.
"It's interesting how much we have to talk about all the time, considering we sort of already read each other's minds and complete each other's sentences," Samir says.
"We have one elder sister and a younger brother. We have a good relationship with them because we grew up together, but it is different in the relationship Basel and I share," Bassam says.
"My little girl is closer to her elder brother than her twin, and he takes good care of her," Attar says.
"Non-identical twins are very different from identical twins in emotional bonding. Yes, some are really close, but mine share the general ‘love you-hate you' relationship."
"My little girl is as gold," says Sime, of little Mckinzie. "It's my boy who's more the ‘drama king'."
Time for some ‘me time'
Along with responsibilities, parents make a lot of sacrifices where their own pleasures are concerned. Al Jamal says she has absolutely no time to go out on her own, but Sime, on the other hand, makes time for herself.
"I always thought I would have to take things as they came," Attar says. "But then I met this wonderful woman at the first event I attended of the X2 group — a mums' night out. Not only did she have twins, she ran her own business. Not only was I amazed, but I also felt empowered that we can do anything.
"But I've always felt that it is easier for parents of twins, rather than of single children, because you would need to repeat everything after, say a year. But with twins you can sort out everything at one go. I mean, how difficult is it to cook for two babies when you are already doing it for one?"
