At first, they don’t know what’s going on. Quickly it turns into a nuisance. Some, perplexingly, even become famous for not being famous. For the most part, however, people who accidentally took Twitter’s famous usernames are a credit to the internet.
@johnlewis
A computer science professor at Virginia Tech, Lewis is the undisputed master of this situation. For months now he has be replying to praise and grumbles from British shoppers with the same patient formula. “I am an awesome cook, thanks. But you might have been referring to the retail store,” when strangers admire his food hall. Or “I dislike rudeness, and won’t stand for it in my women. But my guess is you were referring to the retail store,” when they complain to him about his telephone manner. On Sunday, finally, @johnlewisretail offered to send him the present he deserves.
@alliekeith I am an awesome cook, thanks. But you might have been referring to the retail store.
John Lewis (@johnlewis) August 5, 2013
@whsmith
Yesterday a user called Jennifer observed that, “If your name’s Will H Smith and you opt for the Twitter name @whsmith you’re a bit of a wally getting angry with those assuming you’re a shop.” Will H Smith, however, is an American Christian who understandably knows little about the British stationer and bookseller. Instead he replies to his many messages with a patient correction and a recommendation to read Romans 1:3,4. Although in this case he just asked, “What’s a wally?”
If your name’s Will H Smith and you opt for th Twitter name @whsmith you’re a bit of a wally getting angry with those assuming you’re a shop
Jennifer (@jennffer) November 10, 2013
@graysonperry
Grayson Perry the artist is not on Twitter. Grayson Perry the soccer-mad seven-year-old boy, however, is. And no, he isn’t British or interested in modernism. No, he wasn’t on Newsnight. No, in fact he wears boy’s clothes. With his father’s help, and a lot of wit, he explains these things to countless fans - many of whom go away delighted, if a little confused, by the reply from their hero. “I didn’t deliver any Reight Lectures” Perry admits. “I’m only 7, but maybe someday I might.”
@tarapersaud @bbcradio4 I’m not a cross-dresserjust like you’re not a “fact-checker”
Grayson Perry (@graysonperry) October 15, 2013
@theashes
Ashley Kerekes says she can’t remember why her boyfriend started calling her “The Ashes”, a gentle pet name which, in Massachusetts, has no association with cricket’s biggest grudge match. She discovered this other meaning in 2010, however, when she suddenly gained 6,000 followers and became the centre of a storm of Anglo-Aussie banter. “I’m not a freaking cricket match!” she yelled into the ether, to the ether’s delight. Since then she has got into the spirit of things, let’s say, by selling T-shirts and sponsorship rights.
I AM NOT A FREAKING CRICKET MATCH!!! That means you @matywilson @zandertrego @thesummats @ atonyboffey @faz1988 and MORE
Ashley Kerekes (@theashes) November 27, 2010
@EdwardSnowden
This sport-mad English estate agent has certainly had an interesting year. At first he had no notion why people kept sending him messages about spying and the NSA. Since he got to grips with it, however, he’s been having a splendid time. “Ha - that’s my holidays to the USA ruined!” he replied to one wellwisher. Then there are those who insist he is indeed the CIA whistleblower, employing an elaborate double-bluff. “Interesting conspiracy theory sadly not factual!” is his answer to that. He gets his share of misdirected abuse too, of course, but as he points out, “Estate agents are probably equally disliked.”
@EliLanger ha - that’s my holidays to the USA ruined!
Edward Snowden (@EdwardSnowden) June 9, 2013
