Two parties a week for more than a dozen years? Given that Rekha Tourani says many of her parties go on until sunrise, the society diva has acquired close to 10,000 hours of deliberate practice in her years in Dubai. By pop psych writer Malcolm Gladwell’s rules, that makes her a world-class party hostess. “I’ve been out of practice for a while,” she tried begging off over lunch at Dusty’s, her son’s restaurant in DIFC, but we aren’t the type to take no for an answer.
After all, this is a woman for whom an intimate gathering is 50-100 people, and a normal party between 200-400 invitees. Kinda puts your balcony barbecue into perspective, doesn’t it?
So with Diwali being the start of party season (she isn’t hosting this year and has declined all invites except one special one), we put a voice recorder in front of her and asked for her top 10 tips. After all, parties are serious business!
1. Your party is about the people: Pick people you have a connection with, Tourani advises, and make sure they’re the kind who’ll get along with each other. “That’s something I learned from my Dad,” she says. “My parties have always been a base for different communities to interact, a bit like Dubai. A lot of people form friendships or relationships because they met at my houses, so introduce people to each other, and tell them why they’ll get along — that of course, means you have to have the right people at your parties.”
2. Keep the riff raff out: “My guest list is very tight,” she says. “I love meeting people, but I only invite people I have a connection with. I won’t call anyone I’m not comfortable with. It could be someone powerful, that doesn’t matter.”
3. Book in advance: Invite people as early as you can, and always in person. “Call or personal WhatsApp only, especially for small numbers,” she insists. “I always try to invite people with immense humility and love, I want them to feel welcome, that they’re coming because they’re welcome, not to be seen or feel they come for the heck of it. And I always ask them to dress better than me, as the hostess.”
4. Supercharge the ambience: Great lighting shapes the mood, so talk to your lighting designer about the effect you want. “I personally love colour washes, because of the mood changes when the water bodies pick up the different colours. That just puts me in a nice mood,” Tourani says. “And for Diwali in particular, you want hundreds of diyas all over — on the ground and first floors, on the tables, at the entrance, everywhere.”
5. Get your drinks organised: Like Tourani herself, everyone’s so health conscious nowadays, or on a weird diet, that you’ve got to plan a wide variety of beverages. “I usually have two fabulous bars set up at either end, but more important, I always have some staff from my caterers next to me when I greet friends as they come in, so they’re always given a welcome drink and we toast. That gets them in the mood right away,” she giggles.
6. Keep the food coming: No matter what you’re eating, make sure there’s food until the end — even if that’s sunrise. Tourani doesn’t do formal sit-down dinners, but has all sorts of canapes (“always protein, darling!”) going around all evening, while those who want something more substantial can order at a live station at the end of the garden. “You want to have a mix of different cuisines — Indian, Thai or Chinese and pasta — as well as lots of finger food. And get some interesting nuts, like smoked almonds or cheesy cashews, for your cocktail tables. But no buffet — ever!”
7. Talk to your caterers ahead of time. Account for different tastes while planning menus and make sure that any temporary staff are well aware of guests’ allergies. On the night itself, have a recap, and remind staff to remain friendly at all times. “Staff really need to charm my guests,” she declares, “without crossing the line.”
8. Music sets the mood: You’d be surprised how often people forget this basic rule, starting with and playing the same tempo all night long. “I love to start with soft lounge music and then up the tempo when people have started drinking. And then as people are getting into the party and have met and connected — I always have a DJ — we switch to retro 80s tracks, then Arabic and at the end of the night, when the madness sets in we go to Bollywood. You want people to get a good workout, to burn off all those calories!”
9. Stay out of the war zone: If a fight breaks out because two guests suddenly don’t like the look of each other, Tourani advises asking the catering manager to defuse the situation and calm things down. Not only are they trained to do so, but for the host to take sides is a no-no. She advises calling both parties the next day. “Most people are now very conscious of social media, so I’ve personally never had such a problem,” she avers, “but that’s why it’s important to do the right mixes.”
10. Enjoy your own party: Don’t worry about filling empty glasses or helicopter your guests. “Once the first guest comes in, I’m not looking at drinks or food, I’m enjoying the party myself and spending time with my guests. That’s the only way my party is going to rock — when my guests see I’m having fun.”
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4 PEOPLE WHO ARE INTEGRAL TO A PARTY
• The DJ. People don’t understand how important music is
• A great lighting designer, colour washes and candles
• The catering manager. A strong maitre d’ keeps everything and everyone in line.
• Me. The hostess, who you connect with and who moves through the party, connecting and cracking jokes
