Think things through
Summer sees several species of single men in stages of desperation, malnutrition and starvation. Let’s say you are a happily married man whose wife, and wits, are on a very long holiday, or a hungry bachelor who has only five things in the fridge and ten minutes to spare. You may be the guy who gets fed by family and friends but suddenly realises they are missing en masse, or the bloke who is fed up of calling in or eating out. You could just be the chap who loves using chopsticks, but secretly thinks Chinese food gets cooked in paper tubs. Chances are you have been hung out to dry, and hunger will find you this summer. You have no choice but to cook.
Figure out who you are: 2 points
Figure out what you can cook: 10 points
Next move: Get going
Stop pondering, start playing
If you are officially a summer bachelor, treat yourself to a great game this year. You are the only player, you are the competition; you can be the umpire, and you will be the judge. Watch any two episodes of Jamie’s 15-Minute Meals, or read any two chapters of Delia Smith’s One is Fun. Give up thinking of Top Ramen and emerge top dog in your kitchen. Countless bachelors around the world can whip up delicious meals with whatever is available — or left behind — in the house (think tins, cans, boxes, bottles, packages, and a large dose of creativity). Start by counting yourself in. Sweat a little garlic and onion in a little oil and add a tin of chopped tomatoes to make marinara sauce, or saute garlic and spinach and add a can of chickpeas to make a great side to accompany chicken.
Follow a recipe from scratch: 10 points
Add two things to anything to create your own: 20 points
Next move: Go shopping
Buy a bit of happiness
A trip to the supermarket or to the delicatessen counter would not be out of order for amateur cooks. Yes, fiery sauces in jars could look fearsome at first glance, but they have detailed instructions printed on the back. And when guests want to know whether you made the vindaloo, you would not be lying if you say you did. Most large supermarkets and all hypermarkets have readyto- cook sections — head towards them first. Look for kebabs on sticks that only need to be grilled, salads that only need to be dressed, meat that is already marinated and burgers that are already formed. The same rules apply for ready-made dishes. What you have to do is bring the stuff home, toss/dress/grill/garnish/ embellish as required, and pass at least some of it off as your own.
Shop sensibly: 5 points
Shop supremely cleverly: 10 points
Cross move: Saunter to freezer section
Freeze that thought
The second-most important aisle in a supermarket is the frozen section. Frozen vegetables save hours of cleaning and chopping time, and even if you are at an advanced level of experimenting, you really don’t want to be deveining shrimps — buy them cleaned, deveined and parboiled. Discover Linda McCartney’s living legacy of precooked pies and tarts, or make use of Marks & Spencer’s frozen fillets and fishcakes.
Learn to defrost: 7 points
Learn to respect frozen foods: 17 points
Next move: Think out of the box
Don’t let those boxers box you in
Yes, men can cook. And yes, because you have never bothered to learn, there is a small possibility that you can mess up one recipe about nine times. But 90 per cent of the time, what you make will still be edible. Start simple, gain confidence and work your way up to more difficult recipes. Make things up as you go along. Say you have game night with a mixed bunch of friends: rustle up some spicy oven-baked chips (they come cut to size), and give the mimosa a makeover for the ladies — take something light and top up with orange juice. If you are stuck at any point, stay supremely cool and very casually ask for advice. Call the wife, Skype your mother, turn to a bro chef (if not a pro chef), or spend five full minutes on Google.
Ask for help: 8 points
Help yourself out of a spot: 20 points
Cross move: Master the game
Cash in on the caboodle
Here is a secret: you can do just about anything with eggs — fry, scramble, poach or boil them, and add cheese, herbs, sauces, vegetables, fish or meat for variations. Eggs can bind, thicken, garnish, decorate, or hide flaws. So, if you know how to make a great breakfast with eggs but know nothing else, make it for dinner. The same goes for some other ingredients. Pasta, for instance, can be served in cream or tomatobased sauces, in flavoured butter or cheese, and with fish, meat, poultry or vegetables. Nobody in Italy will stop you if you create your own combinations. Experiment with your favourite foods until you have mastered at least one recipe with satisfying variations. What is a signature dish today will form part of a repertoire tomorrow.
Master one dish: 6 points
Master a dozen dishes: 26 points
Next move: Get guests
Go the whole host
Barring respectable householders who may already have everything, summer bachelors need to look beyond that enviable collection of beer glasses before entertaining. Before you invite a lady over for dinner — or more than one, if the occasion demands it — you must realise that paper and plastic play no role on the dinner table. If you intend to entertain, head to Ikea, Home Centre, or The One for reasonably priced investments in cookware, dinnerware, flatware and glassware. Remember: it is advisable that you serve your guests what you have already fed yourself first.
Buy practical gadgets: 4 points
Buy fancy gadgets: 8 points
Learn how to use all gadgets: 12 points
