By now, you know that Taylor Swift won a lot of awards — although not the arm-busting load she could have had — and that Rihanna got NOTHING, and that Bieber got booed. But MTV’s flagship awards show isn’t just about the winning, you know; it’s about the taking part, and the taking the mickey. tabloid! Was there in person to watch it all go down, so here are our top ten moments from the 19th annual MTV EMAs.
1. Taylor Swift’s ringleader act:
Whatever I’m-just-little-old-me act she has you believing, this girl is a total pro. Then again, Swift has been performing for the better part of her 22 years, so she better be able to walk on stage after Psy, Muse, No Doubt and The Killers and blow everyone away. This she did as the last performer of the show, having won three awards, with a little help from an amazing glittery red jacket and circus ringleader’s top hat, to perform a (we guess lipsynched) rendition of ‘We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together’, while fireworks rained down. Accepting her award for Best Look, she told the audience she couldn’t believe it. “I am kind of insecure in general so this is good for the self-confidence,” she said — though watching her climb a giant three-tier birthday cake and sing to half a billion people from the top of it, we think she’s exaggerating just a little.
In an evening with few real prize surprises, it was up to the fans to make something happen. Such as when Justin Bieber — not present at the awards — was named Best Male, and the room thundered with a mix of applause and booing. Is it because he beat Kanye West, Jay-Z, Flo Rida and Pitbull? Hard to imagine there were more of their fans at the event. Something to do with a certain former EMAs host, Selena Gomez, perhaps?
Psy is totally the excited muppet you expect him to be, telling tabloid! on the red carpet “I want to win!” before the funniest moment of the show, when he began to make his way from backstage to perform his hit song, only to open the door of a porta-toilet and discover David Hasselhoff minding his business inside. Also brilliant: the 50-odd dancing clones on the stage for Gangnam style, doing the horse-riding move with varying degrees of success, and his touching shoutout to his wife and family upon winning Best Video: “Thank you to my family, who has got to live with such a selfish job and a selfish guy. And I would like to appreciate the lady who decided to marry me six years ago,” he said, drawing “awws” from the audience.
4. David Hasselhoff’s Felix Baumgartner moment
How else should the Hoff arrive but plummeting into the vast Festhalle arena from 40,000 metres? Clad in a white spacesuit, he stumbled onto the stage, to give Psy his award. We only wish they’d got him to sing. Let’s hope he went for frankfurters, not hamburgers at the afterparty.
We won’t speak ill of the dead but we’ll deduct points from the awards for a trite and lacklustre tribute to Whitney — One Direction and Steven Tyler talking about why she was important? And we’re a little troubled by Alicia Keys saying she was going to personally give Whitney Houston’s family her posthumous Global Icon trophy — you gonna let Bobby Kristina look after it?
fun., despite being gramatically infuriating, shone as the second act (they should have been first), along with No Doubt, and Muse, all of whom put on superlative performances. Gwen Stefani is mindbogglingly sexy singing ‘Push and Shove’ (which she told us during a private concert on Friday was her favourite song from the new album), while Muse were not only friendly on the red carpet — their performance of “Madness” was magical. Someone book them for the UAE, quick.
7. Heidi Klum’s costume changes
It looks like she pulled it off — we counted at least six Versace costumes, each one a step closer to a wardrobe malfunction, but it wasn’t to be her to bare all; in a segment unlikely to air in the Middle East, she retrieved the envelope with the name of the Best Look winner from in between a male model’s buttocks. Yes, she stumbled over the autocue a few times, but mastered a trapeze and Gangnam Style for a hilarious version of Psy’s video.
8. Kim Kardashian’s bin bag dress
Ludacris took time to remind us about the people affected by Hurricane Sandy and the effects of climate change; Kardashian took it to heart by wearing what appeared to be several black rubbish bags, ready to help with the extreme clean-up after the show, we’re sure.
9. Alicia Keys’ and Alan Carr’s hug
We love celebrity love-ins, and this one happened right before our eyes on the red carpet: Keys and effusive British TV chat show host Alan Carr found themselves on a corner of the red carpet together. “Bet you don’t remember me, do you?” asked Carr of Keys, to which she replied accusing him of blanking her on the red carpet (shock!), before they fell about laughing and hugging in a way we guess only celebrities are allowed to touch each other.
10. Can we say Psy again?
Just the thought of how he’s going to be so sick of doing Gangnam Style for the billionth time (I personally visualised him doing it for weddings in 20 years) is enough to crack anyone up.