Dreams afloat on a luxury cruise

Last year, about 14 million people took cruises, and if asked why they went, most of them would say they had dreamt about it for years, and saved and saved to take that one big trip of a lifetime.

For the majority, the cruise undoubtedly turned out to be great, but for others it is sure to have been a disappointment. Cruise ships convey an image of being the ultimate in luxury and refined living, and many are, but they are like any other consumer commodity: you only get what you pay for.

Choose the right ship, the right cruise line and the right itinerary and it will be an experience like no other. But find yourself on a ship that does not match your taste, filled with crass, loudmouthed passengers you detest, and it will all go wrong.

The ultimate experience

Cruise ships are at their best in the sun. Sitting in a deckchair under brilliant skies, the ship gliding silently through the water, the sea extending to the horizon in every direction, the deck stewards quietly moving back and forth, serving the drinks and snacks all come together to create a sense of detachment from reality that no resort ashore can match.

But ending up on the right ship, cruise line and itinerary can be daunting. Among the industry's 350 ships, only the small number of upscale vessels will give you "that one big trip of a lifetime".

On these ships you will enjoy gourmet cuisine, the ultimate in personal service, a balcony stateroom and a huge array of on-board activities. And the ships are superb. Museum-quality artworks line the corridors. The shopping arcades feature top fashion labels such as Hermes and Chopard. Formal wear is required in the evenings and the officers' receptions are the ultimate in social gatherings.

The in-room television has the top satellite news channels, 24-hour classic movies plus the latest blockbusters in several languages. The closed-circuit channels keep passengers informed about the weather outlook and the ship's performance such as speed, latitude and longitude.

For these cruises, money does indeed change hands — a lot of money. For a two-week voyage in comfortable but not luxurious accommodation the ticket may cost $15,000 (Dh55,095) per person.

Add to that another $2,500 (Dh9182) for on-board expenses plus air fares to and from the ship plus hotels before and after the cruise, and the holiday becomes a very serious investment. No wonder people have to save for many years for their dream vacation.

Not as pleasant

At the bottom of the pyramid, however, are the downscale ships that are low-fare, tacky and entirely forgettable. Sail on these ships and you will swear never to go on another cruise. Here, you will encounter frenetic activity based on the philosophy that you can't be having fun unless you are worn to a frazzle.

These ships have interiors that assault the senses. Banks of neon lights cover some walls. Loud background music blares 24 hours, in some cases even in the lifts, and there are incessant public announcements. The ship's paparazzi hound you around every corner and there is constant pressure to spend.

On some ships the cuisine is mass-produced, sometimes by contract caterers, and the dining-room service is totally lacking in finesse.

How to avoid this nightmare and get it right the first time? The first line of defence is a highly competent travel agent. A good adviser will produce deck plans, itineraries and the possibility of discounted prices. Without guidance you can find yourself in an inside cabin on a bottom deck, plagued by noise from the engine room and other machinery. But with good advice you will get a room high in the ship with sea views and 24-hour room service.

And as in other activities in life, size does matter, but this time in the opposite direction. The most luxurious vessels are the so-called boutique ships that carry only 100 passengers and are less than 5,000 tonnes, compared with the megaships of up to 250,000 tonnes that carry 5,000 passengers.

These small ships have very high fares, but they provide the highest standards of everything: Wedgwood tableware in the dining room, the finest toiletries in the marble bathrooms, cotton bathrobes, personalised stationery and butler service. All of these ships cater to the passenger who wants to be cocooned, pampered and indulged. But some people are confirmed masochists and for them there is a type of ship that will test their stamina to the limit: passenger-carrying icebreakers.

Only for the strong ones

These expedition cruises are not for the faint-hearted. The ultimate experience the cruise industry offers is a voyage aboard a working nuclear-powered icebreaker, the 23,445-tonne Yamal. Like most passenger-carrying icebreakers, the Yamal is Russian-owned and operated.

The passengers are carried in an ultra-spartan environment that is nevertheless surprisingly comfortable. There are no on-board amenities and passengers must bring their own toiletries, but the Russian staff is attentive and outgoing. The dining room emphasises hearty Russian fish-and-potatoes fare best suited to the strenuous activity.

This high-technology ship has two nuclear reactors encased in 160 tonnes of steel. It is one of four nuclear-powered icebreakers, the world's most powerful, three of which three are still operating.

The Yamal carries two helicopters for passenger use, which are included in the cruise ticket. A lecture theatre is used by biologists, scientists and geologists to explain the activities of the next day. But the Yamal conducts the cruise industry's most high-adrenalin seagoing experience.

Passengers must endure a constant roar as the ship shatters the Arctic pack ice. The Yamal is the only ship to actually make it to the North Pole.

Other expedition ships sail worldwide, and they all have one thing in common: they all go to the most inhospitable places on earth. It is not uncommon for the passengers to have to wade ashore for the shore excursions, and sometimes the landings are made at night.
 
The cruise industry does indeed offer something for everyone, but it won't be what you are expecting. Those who find they have an affinity for the sea will keep coming back year after year. Those who don't will probably go camping.

Forrest Cassidy has taken 16 cruises around the world

Set sail

Costa Cruise

Costa's next seven-night cruise on the Costa Mediterranea from Dubai to Muscat, Fujairah, Abu Dhabi and Bahrain will happen in December 20. Prices start from $849 (Dh3,118) per person. Children up to 17 years with two adults are free on most departures. Port taxes extra.

The 18-nights cruise from Abu Dhabi to Dubai, Muscat, Mumbai, Goa, Cochin, Male and Fujairah on Costa Mediterranea will set sail on January 10, 2012 from Abu Dhabi. Prices start from $2,239 (Dh8,224) per person. Children up to 17 years with two adults are free on most departures. Port taxes extra. Call 04-2940022 or log on to www.costacruise.com for details.

The cruise fare includes:

Stateroom accommodations, full board with various meals throughout the day (excluding bottled water, soft drinks and in-house beverages), dining options, entertainment, kids' club programmes from 3-17 years, 24-hour room service, fitness and spa facilities, library and card room besides a range of nightclubs and Broadway-style shows every night in the on-board theatre.

The following are available on-board (additional charges apply):

Spa amenities, internet café, casino, beauty salon, duty-free shops, boutiques, art auctions, shore excursions, laundry, bar drinks, golf lessons, fitness trainers and exercise classes.

Terms and conditions: Rates are based on double occupancy of an inside cabin and do not include port taxes and cruise insurance. Children cruise free when sharing with two adults and pay only port taxes and insurance. Rates are subject to availability at the time of booking. Rates are not applicable to finalised bookings.

Regent Seven Seas Cruises

Regent Seven Seas Cruises offers their next cruise from May 4 to Rome via Oman, Jordan, Egypt, Israel. Prices start from $4,000 (Dh14,692) for an all-inclusive cruise. More cruises to India, Singapore and Australia later in the year. For more information contact Al Rais Cruise Department on 04-3520000 or visit www.rssc.com

The cruise fare includes: