‘I almost died twice for the perfect body’

Struggling for breath, I sat down on a bench by my local shop. “Everyone’s staring at me,” I whispered to my now ex-husband, Rajinder Singh.

I headed home, leaving Rajinder to buy everything. The dirty looks from people on the street were the final straw in my struggle with weight and the depression that I’d had my whole life.

I admit I also had a big appetite, which didn’t help my weight either. I’d often go back for seconds at meal times. Then because I didn’t exercise my weight ballooned.

I tried every diet plan I could get my hands on and even dodgy diet pills off the internet. But nothing seemed to work.

Back then, in 2009, when I was 38, I’d stay at home a lot feeling too self-conscious about my size to go out unless I really had to. I’d often ask Rajinder, then 32, to go shopping so I didn’t have to go out. He’d never complain and helped as much as he could.

I knew deep down that as a UK size 26, I was shockingly big and that my health wasn’t going to hold out much longer. But I couldn’t stop eating crisps and other fried stuff. 

A life-changing phone call

One night in the summer of 2009 everything changed when I got a call from my sister-in-law, Susan Allen, 45. “Wanda, you won’t believe it! I’ve lost 10 stone,” she said. “I’ve gone from a UK size 20 to a size zero.” She explained she’d had a gastric bypass where the stomach is made smaller to allow food to bypass part of the small intestine so you feel full more quickly.

“Wow, that’s amazing,” I grinned. We hadn’t spoken for a year but I couldn’t have been happier for her. Like me, she’d struggled with her weight all her life. Of course straight away I wanted one too.

“It’s the answer to everything,” I told Rajinder. He agreed it was worth a try. It was a huge relief because I couldn’t have gone ahead without his support.

I spoke to my doctor about it and he referred me to a specialist weight-loss surgeon. “It’s a big operation with risks,” he warned.

But I didn’t care. I was so determined to go through with it. This was my last chance at being slim and getting my life back.

“Are you sure?” Rajinder asked. “It’s pretty risky.”

But my mind was made up. “I’m more sure than ever,” I replied.

I opted to have a gastric bypass to reduce the size of my stomach to the size of an egg in August 2010 at my local hospital. The idea being that having a smaller stomach I couldn’t stuff myself any more and I’d be less hungry.

The three-hour-long operation went well. But as I opened my eyes afterwards, I felt a searing pain deep in my stomach. It was too much to bear and I screamed. To help me, the nurse gave me more painkillers. “It’ll be OK,” I thought, trying to reassure myself I’d done the right thing.

I went home a week later and, sure enough, I was still eating tiny portions of yogurt or mashed fruit. In just a week I could notice the weight was dropping off me. 

Speedy slimming

Four months on I had lost nine stone. I’d gone from a UK size 24 to a size 16. Even I couldn’t believe how fast I’d slimmed.

I also found that my hair was dropping out in clumps, which my GP told me was because I had been slimming so quickly. My hair had turned thin and wispy and bald patches were beginning to become visible.

A few weeks later I felt a searing pain in my stomach. I tried to ignore it at first, but it wouldn’t go away. Then one night in December it got so bad I couldn’t get out of bed to walk to the toilet.

“Call an ambulance,” I screamed to Rajinder.

I was rushed to the emergency room where I had a scan. “You have a blocked and twisted bowel, two hernias and a hole in your stomach where one of your hernias has forced its way out,” a doctor explained. “It’s because of all the weight you’ve lost so suddenly.”

“The gastric bypass!” I gasped. It was all because I hadn’t wanted to be fat anymore. Guilt twinged.

As they prepped me for theatre, I laid there recalling the conversation I had with the weight-loss surgeon before my operation when he’d warned me of the risks.

The surgeons operated to repair the hernias and fix my intestines straight away. Thankfully all went well.

When I came round Rajinder was holding my hand. “The doctors told me the twisted bowel was so serious you could have died,” he told me.

I couldn’t believe I’d put my life on the line all so I could lose weight.

By January 2011, I’d lost eight stone more and shrunk to a size 10 and 10 stone. I used to have soup for dinner and was snacking on only yogurt and fruits.

I should have been enjoying my slimming success, but once again I felt a familiar burning pain in my stomach. Having experienced so much over the past five months, I knew this was not a good sign. Rajinder also felt it was important we not take any more chances.

“Let’s go to hospital straight away,” he said, packing a bag. 

Hospital horror

At the hospital the doctor told me to have a scan. “You have an ulcer and perforation in your bowel where you’ve not been eating enough,” he said. “Luckily you came in when you did because you need another operation urgently.”

The surgeons patched me up again, fixing the perforation in my bowel. But recovering this time took a lot longer. I was so weak from the lack of food that my body was giving up on me.

I laid in my hospital bed for six weeks, too weak to move. Even my legs were bony and couldn’t support me enough to walk.

I was still eating only a bowl of mashed vegetables and fruit three times a day. I had cut out all junk food from my diet. There was no fried food, fizzy drink, rice, nor bread.

I’d nearly died twice and now, despite losing so much weight, I still looked awful.

Looking back, I realise I didn’t research the side effects of having a gastric bypass enough before attempting it.

Now I’d lost the weight but was left constantly covering up, worrying people might catch a glimpse of my loose skin, instead of flaunting my new figure.

Eventually things picked up when I learnt how to top up on nutrients I lacked from having just three tiny meals a day of yogurt and mashed vegetables and fruits.

I began having regular meals – salads, soups, yogurt, fruit, veg, chicken, fish, potatoes – and in just a few months was so happy to notice my hair was growing back long and glossy. I almost cried with joy.

It’s been two years since the operation and sadly Rajinder and I split up in October 2012. I don’t think my weight-loss problems contributed, but I feel bad about the worry and stress I put him through.

The pain and illness after my gastric bypass was like one big nightmare. But thankfully this year I feel the healthiest I’ve been since the operation. I’m still very self-conscious about my loose skin and I dress to keep my arms and tummy hidden.

But I love having a wardrobe of fashionable size 10 clothes.

It’s been a long time coming, but I’m finally back on my feet and I want to make the most of my figure.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud of losing so much weight – who wouldn’t be? But I’m not proud of risking my life to do it!

Wanda Sohal, 42, lives in Nottingham, UK