Dubai
We’re aware that three in ten people in the UAE are checking on their partner’s online activity. However, what would compel them to do so?
Christina Burmeister, a Dubai-based clinical psychologist, explains that it comes from one partner feeling suspicious of the other’s activities.
She said: “Often times, when they confront the partner, he or she might deny it. It could be true or they could be hiding something. But, if a spouse is suspicious, they automatically assume that the other person is hiding something and the easiest way is to check his or her phone.”
When a person does that, he or she might not be aware of the context behind the conversation that they are reading. So, it could be misunderstood very easily, especially if they are already approaching the issue with a negative attitude.
Burmeister said: “You might read from a position of suspicion and assume things that support your stance. This could be really damaging to their relationship and the suspicious spouse could end up in a dark place. It boils down to your relationship and how much space each partner is allowed to have.”
In her opinion, every couple has to decide on their private space. Some couples need more privacy, while others are more open. But, they have to figure this out on their own.
If, for instance, a couple has an “open phone policy”, then they can exchange passwords and be alright if a spouse checks on their online activity.
Burmeister said: “If it is not previously established, and a spouse goes behind the other one’s back, that can be damaging. Additionally, if they find something negative, it can cause mistrust amongst both spouses.”
The person whose phone is hacked or checked would lose trust in the other for having spied on him or her. This happens because they have established a certain amount of space from the first day and the other crossed a boundary. So, it is a breach of trust.
She then refers to cases wherein people have given their spouses access to their phone, but this has proven to be more damaging. People could become obsessed, which is not healthy for a relationship.
She said: “Even on social media, everybody’s Facebook page is their own space. Access has become so easy. Earlier, you would send a letter and when it arrived, it was just yours to read. Now it is easy for people to hack each other’s social media accounts. Privacy is harder to get.”
