Have you ever pet-sat a 30-year-old turtle with a funny name? I am talking about Speedy, my friendly neighbour’s not-so-friendly turtle. She was handed over to me last month when they went on vacation for 12 days. Putting the hyper-animated Ninja turtles to shame, this real one entertained me with her immobility and complete coldness. The first thought that came to my mind was why would someone call a turtle by such a name. This question still haunts me.

In many ways this was a first. I love animals, dogs to be precise and had never handled an introvert pet, so I welcomed her with all the joy like I would any cute thing on earth. To my complete disappointment, she never bothered to respond to my coochicoos. She preferred to stay with her neck inside the shell all day. Silently showing me my place on earth. Almost rebuking the behaviour of earthling who thinks animals can be played with. Or perhaps she meant to say that a 30-year-old needs some respect after all. Whatever, I should have known better.

Speedy was handed over with its tin feed and a tub to soak. The instructions were precise — one feed in two days and that the tub needs to have water all the time so she can just climb and sit there if she wished to. I felt bad for this animal from the wild forced to stay indoors. One evening I left her inside her tub in the shaded corner in the balcony thinking she may like some fresh air and all that.

And wow! When I went back to fetch her she had the head and neck out for the first time. The happiness was shortlived. I tried to pat her and she bit me so hard. I learnt that there is no one solution that fits all. Or that a balcony can’t cheer everyone, especially an introvert turtle with a funny name, whose tub has a ‘do not disturb’ sticker on it. What was I thinking?

After this incident I never peeped into the hole from where her head sprang the last time. Did not want to lose my nose to a turtle. After all once bitten twice shy they say. But I always thought turtles where the shy ones.

Bored of the silence I started talking to Speedy while doing my usual chores. Each time I paused after long monologues, she would move a few steps. It was funny. I almost felt like she was listening to me. Of course the turtles can hear... they say even walls have ears don’t they? But thank God for walls don’t move each time I pause. I suddenly felt grateful for all normal and predictable things in my life.

It was a test of patience to watch her do anything. Once I fell asleep on the floor watching her eat. And when I woke up she was still on it — looking straight into my eyes and moving her jaws.

She had no particular expression or interests. Upon closer examination I found her frown similar to one of my hostel matrons’. I told Speedy that she looks a bit like Mrs George. Guess she did not like that. Else why would she suddenly withdraw her neck in. Nobody who knows Mrs George would love to be called by the name. They say turtles can read your mind. Seriously, now I had to watch my thoughts with this thing around?

I decided to leave the cohabiter with all the space and freedom she needs. I barely went to her than once-into-days-lunch time.

The night before she was supposed to go back, I stepped out from bed to catch her in some action. Any action, I mean, if at all. But I tripped over something and almost fell. It was her. She was not in her tub.

Speedy was in the drawing room, not the guest bathroom where I left her. I put the light on. Almost at the speed of the light, she slid to hide under the sofa. Now I know why she had that name. In all the excitement, I picked her up. She had her long head out. In the dim light she looked like Spielberg’s ET. And was she smiling? There, she bit me again. Perhaps that one was on purpose to let me be OK to let her go tomorrow without any sentiments attached.

While handing over Speedy I told her keepers that I had a good time with her. They guessed I must have had the TV on most of the time because she loves it. Shocked out of my wits I remembered that this was a pet from a normal home with TV on most of the time... perhaps I bored Speedy by never having the TV on any time during her stay with me. The fact is that I did not even click a picture of her thinking I may be intruding its privacy. I miss my roommate even if she was an unpredictable, grumpy old amphibian with a funny name.

Archana R.D. is a Dubai-based senior freelance journalist, who is also a certified advanced energy healer and is known as artist B’lu.