Six years of living an uneventful life in the UAE and two fines in the space of three months — for eating on the Metro and jaywalking. Of course, these incidents took a toll on my self-esteem and wallet, but as the MasterCard slogan goes, the knowledge gained was ‘priceless’. Incidentally, the fines included a ‘knowledge fee’ component.
How did becoming poorer by Dh300 contribute to my enlightenment? Well, for one it has dawned on me that I roll my tongue in my mouth when I am deep in thought. If procrastination is not a good idea in this era of instant gratification, giving the impression of chewing something in the Gold Class of the Dubai Metro is unforgivable. It’s ‘show ID, get out and pay up’. And don’t dare try playing the pseudo-intellectual who needs to think on the move, rolling tongue and all that jazz.
Nevertheless, given the fact that my wife believes that I dress like a tramp (no offence to tramps) and my discomfort with all things that glitter, I proceeded to ask the ticket checker if I was in the “wrong place”. She was justifiably furious at my self-righteousness. Thankfully, before things got out of hand, I decided that speech is silver and silence is gold and paid the fine. I now maintain a stoic expression when travelling by the Metro.
The second incident was a shining example in stupidity. I, who will not walk across a pedestrian crossing unless the light is green, felt the need to jaywalk right under the nose of a policeman, when the pedestrian crossing was a mere 20 metres away. And yes, I had spotted him imposing fines on other jaywalkers and was quite amused by their predicament — until the joke was on me! To make matters worse, I had to go all the way to Al Barsha from Bur Dubai to pay the fine. I took the Metro and travelled in Silver Class.
I’m sure we have all had similar experiences. Some of us blame everyone and everything while others laugh it off and learn something for posterity. My reaction ranged from the initial indignation to a feeling of persecution and finally amusement. Not to forget, a renewed respect for the law. Life would be much simpler if we dumped our egos, apologised for our mistakes and corrected our behaviour. Instead, much time and effort go into playing victim, or looking for ways to pass the buck.
Why stupidity draws sympathy is something I have never understood. If you are idiotic enough to sow wheat believing it to be maize, you have done a con job on yourself. And the sycophants who tell you that the seed-seller is to blame are sending you on a fool’s errand. Nor will they harvest your wheat crop. Of course, their false sympathy will do wonders for your persecution complex till you discover that they are laughing behind your back.
Perhaps corruption has its roots in citizens looking for shortcuts. Didn’t a wise man say that people get the governments they deserve? Think about that the next time you think of using money or influence to bypass the rules. Or expect sympathy for your stupidity.
Being fined is fine if it forces you to revise life’s lessons.
