Reading about a member of the Queen of England’s staff who breaks in her new shoes was something I could empathise with. Apparently, the royal shoes have to be immediately comfortable, so a member of the staff with the same-size feet trots up and down the palatial corridors until the pair is broken in.

As if this weren’t enough, wooden shoe stretchers are used to make them even more comfortable. Now, if only I could have the same kind of service!

Whenever I tell others that the reason why I don’t wear closed shoes is because my feet suffer from claustrophobia, they laugh in disbelief, thinking I am trying to be funny. But I say that in all seriousness. I have tried wearing this kind of footwear, but have always had to kick them off soon after. When I asked a friend who wears these regularly how she coped or whether I was the only one with this problem, she told me that of course they hurt, but one got used to the pain and discomfort. My answer to that is why should anyone suffer unnecessarily. Isn’t there enough pain in the world already?

Most women I know, myself included, have had a love affair with shoes and never seem to have enough of those. Of course, there is a minority who actually are happy to have just a couple of pairs and wouldn’t dream of spending a fortune on these. A person dear to me actually refused a gift of shoes recently, saying they were much too expensive and she couldn’t possibly wear something that cost so much. Of course, she was visiting from India, so she was continually doing the 16 times tables in her head and her mental maths made her gasp at the conversion. Needless to say, I thought she was off her head for refusing such a priceless offer. But each to her own.

Although many of us have our mini-Imelda collections, I find that I wear just a few while the rest lie unused, although not forgotten. Whenever a like-minded friend or relative comes home, out comes the collection for display. Of course, as soon as the oohs and aahs become tinged with longing, they are quickly put away before one makes any magnanimous gestures such as presenting a few pairs to the admirer.

In a house I visited recently, I was surprised to see shoes on display in the living room on specially designed racks. Of course, the flat was small and there was no space for this huge collection of footwear, but it was as if the owner wanted the world to know the brands she wears.

I think even I would draw the line at this in-your-face show. The plus point is that one can see the whole collection at a glance instead of opening drawers and cupboards to unearth a pair. Being hidden from view also has its drawbacks. There is only so much the memory can hold and often we forget what we possess. It’s only when we get down to spring cleaning that we discover hidden gems. It can be a voyage of discovery.

These adornment for the feet can also be used as missiles to express disgust at someone’s policies or behaviour. Thus, we read about shoes being hurled at a visiting dignitary by someone clearly put out by the person’s views or decisions. This is an ultimate insult in some cultures where shoes are removed before entering a place of worship or touching someone with one’s footwear by mistake is almost always followed by a conciliatory gesture of apology.

I am open to offers to test any shoe I buy in order to break them in. It’s not a case of if the shoe fits, it’s more of making the shoe fit.