It was recently reported in Saudi press that the Saudi Charitable Society for the Welfare of Saudi Families Abroad (AWASSER) had advised Saudi males travelling abroad on business or vacation to be alert and not to “fall victim to marriage brokers at airports”. The Society urged Saudi males to exercise extreme caution during travel and be extra vigilant because many foreign marriage brokers “tend to target Saudi male travellers and convince them to enter into marriage contracts that can have catastrophic results”. It said that most of these brokers are usually accompanied by young girls who are used to snare unsuspecting Saudis. They were asked to “ignore any broker who approaches them with marriage offers”.
These males have also been advised to consult the local Saudi Embassy before entering into any matrimonial contract or signing one with a local citizen during their journey. The society claimed that many marriages that were solemnised in this manner led to “disastrous outcomes for both spouses due to the culture shock”. Children born of such unions suffered the most according to the society as most of these unions ended up in separation and divorce.
To my knowledge, I have heard of no other nationality whose males are targeted for such dubious purposes. While it is admirable for the Society to alert travellers, it is also puzzling as to why to my knowledge only Saudi men are drawn into this net of questionable alliances when they are abroad? Are they glibly ensnared by con men into marriage unions that profit these brokers? Or is it that many such males actually seek such unions once they escape what they feel is a very restricted and confining society. Men of weak character will always find someone else as a reason to blame and these men are no different. They know exactly what they want and their desires have led to the growth of marriage brokers who would not exist were it not for these customers. Where there is a demand there will be sellers.
Surprisingly, a good number of these males are married and with a family of their own in their home country. Encouraged by questionable fatwas by some clerics, who sanction marriages on the fly, these men seek out potential victims for a quick fun-filled holiday. Aided by spurious brokers seeking a quick buck, these men take advantage of desperate economic conditions of the girls’ families and for a few bucks practically buy them for the duration of the visit, clearing their conscience by solemnising the union in the presence of money-seeking judges. When discovered, they often whimper that they were duped into such relationships by marriage brokers and that they were the real victims.
The Misyar or marriage of convenience within the country’s borders became a popular variant of marriage after it was sanctioned by some religious clerics. Essentially a licence to have multiple partners without much responsibility or expenses, it was soon followed by Misfar and other variations. A Misfar marriage refers to a union contracted so that a man may cohabitate with his foreign ‘wife’ for the period of time he is visiting a foreign country. These women are usually left divorced and on their own after a short period of conjugal life, which ranges from a week to a month. It is natural that most of these women who get married off under such conditions come from deprived backgrounds and for most of them, they have very little say in the matter.
The tragic byproducts of such relationships are often the number of children fathered by Saudi males during such unions, who are later abandoned. And while these overseas amorous urges and paternal distribution of genes is not necessarily restricted to Saudis, the number of wives and children left behind to fend for themselves is reaching disturbing proportions. In Morocco, there are reports of more than 5,000 wives and as many children who had been left deserted by their ‘tourist husbands’ without honour or gratuity. In Syria, Egypt, Yemen, India, Indonesia and the Philippines, similar numbers exist, causing a growing concern for the Saudi government.
The Roots Foundation, an NGO that helps children born to Saudi fathers abroad, stated that there are many such children in Arab countries and that the men abandon their temporary wives and the children who are born consequently for fear of discovery by their wives and relatives back home. The distressing result of such clergy-sanctioned vacation flings has resulted in many children living in pitiful conditions and taking to to drugs and other illegal activities, deprived as they are of their true identity and a decent sustenance. Meanwhile, their Saudi fathers usually get off scot-free.
The Saudi government has reacted to this mounting problem by authorising Saudi embassies to register such children and issue temporary travel documents that allow fathers to bring their children over to the Kingdom and arrange passports and ID cards for them. DNA tests can also be conducted for fathers unwilling to shoulder their responsibilities. They can also be punished for violating the law and that this could be in the form of a travel ban or a prison sentence.
It is not Saudi males who are the ‘victims’ that the Society should sound a warning to. The warning should be directed to the families of these girls — who are the real victims — and their governments to protect them from individuals with weak characters.
Tariq A. Al Maeena is a Saudi socio-political commentator. He lives in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. Follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/@talmaeena
