It seems appropriate that a Japanese thief has become a best-selling author. In light of the global recession, perhaps this is the time to hone such skills. Hajime Karasuyama is the pen name of the burglar who obviously is keenly aware of the perils of identify theft.

A first print run of 10,000 copies of ‘Occupation, Thief; Annual income, Y30 Million' has almost run out in the 10 days since publication.

I am wondering if there's any inspiration to be gleaned from this. Maybe I can write a book on "How to make do with odds and ends", to encourage the habit of conservation and recycling. In this eco-conscious age that should go down like a dream. Or should I be more practical and go with "Ten Steps on How to Get Rich Quick'? I'll have to do a lot of research for this one as I still haven't figured out what the first step is, never mind the tenth. On second thoughts, if I knew the key to untold wealth, would I be wasting my time writing a tome on it or would I be the one being written about?

I think I'm going to nix this idea. I suddenly remembered stories of wannabe writers who toiled for years without recognition and all they had as witness to their workmanship was a pile of rejection slips.

Cash and valuables

Perhaps going the Karasuyama way is the easiest route to riches. He claims to have developed the uncanny ability to guess where cash and valuables are stashed by the owners and provides tips on how to gain access to locked property and get away without leaving behind telltale signs.

Reading court notes one is always baffled by the clues left behind by thieves and one's first thought is how could anyone be so foolish after executing something so daring. So, the theft must be foolproof, which means there must be diligent research before carrying out a heist.

To ensure success, avoid overdressing. That way one can be sure that one hasn't dropped something such as a glove or a ski mask at the scene of the crime. Shoes are a dead giveaway as the experts can make out the type and brand from the tread marks left behind. And if you think it's all right if the room is carpeted you obviously have no idea how far forensics has advanced and therefore have no business doing such a job.

All right, you've guessed right. I am a big fan of all those crime detection serials. But being forewarned is being forearmed as they say. Who are they? Must be one of those who got caught and then decided to coin wise sayings to encapsulate one's bitter experiences.

So, if minimal clothing and accessories are a big no-no, try not to forget the tools of your trade. If you're the type whose memory is like a sieve, it's best not to opt for this line of work. Imagine reaching the place you want to loot and then finding out that either you've forgotten why you're there (an experience that all us are familiar with) or realising that you've forgotten to bring along the means to gain access to the treasure.

Irresponsible

Karasuyama's publisher has dismissed allegations that the publication of the manual is irresponsible. He loftily states that the book is not targeted at would-be burglars but at home-owners who want to know how to protect their homes better. To use his lopsided logic, go ahead and nick something and then justify your action by saying you were just testing the preparedness of the victim against crime.

However skewed this reasoning might seem, I think I'll stick with saving in dribs and drabs instead of taking the shorter route to riches.