Weird are the ways of functioning of our bureaucracy in India. Quite often, they do unimaginable things that make you have a hearty laugh. Some people may adore our officials for being staunch sticklers of rules and the law. But they would also be flabbergasted to see them going to absurd lengths.

I would mention two cases. In November last, eight donkeys were jailed for eating up ‘‘precious’’ plants and in mid-January two roosters were put behind the bars for abetting in illegal betting business.

First, about the plight of eight poor donkeys who were lodged in the Orai jail of Jalaun district in Uttar Pradesh. They were released after four days of imprisonment. The charge against them was that they strayed into the residential block (euphemism for house of jail officials) and ate up saplings planted there under the ‘Swachh Bharat’ (Clean India) Mission.

Quite naturally, the officials were red-faced because the exotic plants were too precious and close to their heart having been acquired for Rs 60,000 with government funds. Obviously, they were angry over the donkeys’ impudence by trespassing and chewing up the forbidden plants. This became unbearable for them.

Soon after the jail authorities’ outbursts and command, the staff rounded up the eight asses and lodged them in the district jail. It was not clear what food, fodder or grass was served to them during their detention because the jail manual does not say on the issue.

It is surmised that the jail officials behaved like an angry mom punishing her errant son in these words, ‘‘You have not done your homework, so no food. You will remain locked up in your room”.

However, in their cool moments, they must have served some green grass for nobody would want to be hauled up for custodial deaths.

Orai Jail Superintendant reportedly agreed that there is no law under which they could arrest donkeys. But the quadrupeds were confined for four days to teach a lesson to their owner who failed to restrain his eight pets from causing such damage to government property like these plants and saplings.

Initially, after a hectic search, when the owner Kamlesh, a local, discovered that the donkeys were in ‘judicial custody’, he begged them to return the creatures as they were his source of income. But it had no effect. Later, the animals were restored to him after a political party leader’s intervention.

However, before getting them back, the owner was made to furnish an affidavit assuring that henceforth he would not let the donkeys roam about as they liked, specifically near the jail officials’ residence.

They say, law is an ass. In this case, there was no law — only asses.

Now about the two roosters which were taken into custody and put behind the bars at the Athner police station in Betul district of Madhya Pradesh. The charge: Abetment in illegal betting by their owners Laxman and Bapu Rao who, too, were arrested on January 14. Arranging cockfights for entertainment and betting was said to be their business.

The pretty birds with colourful feathers were leashed to the iron bars of the lockup and were to be produced in a court along with their owners.

It was not clear what exactly the birds were fed during their four-day custody.Perhaps some grains were thrown in front of them.

The jail manual was silent on the kind of food that should have been given to such prisoners.

These fowls are known to live on best possible food. Alas! The poor fellows had to contend with jail brand of meals. They had been chained with string to the bars of the lockup. So there was no scope of picking up any edible even from the crevices in the floor.

It was also not known whether the two roosters annoyed the staff with their morning cock-a-doodle-doo alarm.

If they could speak like us, the poor birds would have yelled, ‘‘We are innocent, we have done nothing. We have been used in the betting game in cock fights so please let us go’’. But that was not to be.

In both the cases, the donkeys and the roosters had to spend about four days in jail under strict vigil.

Strange instances like this keep happening in Uttar Pradesh, country’s biggest state with a population of 22 crore.

Some time back, we were amused to know how the police pulled up the socks and, leaving the routine work, set out to trace some stolen she buffaloes because they belonged to a senior minister. They succeeded and in no time herded them back to the cowshed at the Netaji’s place.

Lalit Raizada is a journalist based in India.