I liked the cartoon about an elderly Muslim bird telling a group of angry birds that in Ramadan we should restrain ourselves from hunger, thirst… and anger.

Ramadan is just a week away and I thought it would be a good idea to be prepared for it in advance. Not by pushing an overflowing shopping trolley at the hypermarket and dumping dates and boxes of all sorts of processed food in it, but by gradually eating less and becoming more active.

The daylight hours during which you will be fasting are going to be long, about 15, I was gleefully told by one newspaper report, as the day will begin a little after 5am and end very, very slowly by 7.30pm. Temperatures will be wicked and in the mid-40s.

Despite this a friend remarked that she would rather spend Ramadan here in Dubai than in her home country. I looked at her and wondered whether the heat had touched her already, but realised most of the home countries of expatriates, from Lebanon to Lahore, have power shortages in the peak of the summer.

Some critics say that Ramadan has been commercialised, and much before the holy month begins adverts come up enticing people to buy stuff, even cars: “Buy your family a four-wheel drive and do not pay interest forever,” says the enticing advertisement that has a picture of a family riding off into the sunset… to a mall to buy home appliances. (Most SUVs anyway cannot really go off into the desert and are more suitable for tarmac roads).

Scholars and clerics enjoin people that Ramadan is not only a month of fasting from food, but a time to reflect and rejoice in your piety and humanity and to be born afresh, so to speak, free from your desires and wants.

Difficult to wake up

It is at this time when people with vices such as smoking desperately try to quit and smoking-cessation clinics tend to be crowded. (The sad part is that many return to smoking with a vengeance later). I find it extremely difficult to wake up before the Sun rises and sleepwalk to the kitchen and make my gooey porridge and sit at the dining table and eat with my eyes closed, so I am going to start practising much ahead of time.

Since I am eating fibre and fruit, I start to feel hungry within an hour or so and keep looking at the gorgeous Ramadan recipes everyone seems to enjoy showing off. “This is my mother’s, grandmother’s, aunt’s, dad’s, recipe…” says the chef as she prepares a sumptuous meal in full colour and on high definition TV. (Luckily, I do not have a 3D printer or I would immediately start downloading and printing the food).

There is no way anyone can forget about food in Dubai. “Come to Bade Mian’s and enjoy the biryani,” an advert pops up on my phone just at the time of day when I am most vulnerable. Though it is still nine hours to sunset, I tell my wife that I am going to Rahim’s before the crowd picks up, because of the advert. Jingles on car radios entice tourists to enjoy Dave’s sandwiches.

I am not sure whether this is an Arabic saying, but nutritionists warn at this time not to make your “eyes bigger than your belly”. I did not know what that meant till I went to my first iftar (the ending of the fast) buffet.

The ironic part about the month, many doctors say, is that people tend to put on weight instead of losing it. The sudden intake of greasy and sweet foods sends many to the clinics. Don’t be an angry bird this Ramadan. Be patient, be kind and don’t eat and drive.

Mahmood Saberi is a freelance journalist based in Dubai. You can follow him on Twitter at www.twitter.com/ mahmood_saberi.