Dubai: Happiness: that pursuit to be in harmony with the life we lead. The word has found itself defined in interaction among friends, in gratitude of good health, in the unconditional grace of a family, or in the pampering of luxury. However, psychologists say that sometimes our notions of happiness may be faulty and, thus, yield opposite results.
“As a psychologist, it would be an ideal scenario to see clients when they are feeling moderately well and want to develop the skills to maintain a state of well-being,” Madeeha Afrida, psychologist at Lighthouse Arabia Clinic, said.
However, Afridi said that, often, by the time clients come to see her, they’ve already reached a low point in their lives.
“They find that their pursuit of happiness has led them to live their lives in a way that is counter-productive. Instead of happiness, they find themselves feeling stressed, overwhelmed, and constantly seeking their source of happiness in external factors, whether it be in material objects, activities or relationships,” she said.
Afridi said that the problem with seeking external sources of happiness is that their jovial effect dies when that source loses its novelty factor.
“People should make a conscious effort to tap into their internal reserves, through mindfulness, meditation, prayer, yoga, contributing to a cause that they are passionate about or consistently maintaining a gratitude journal. They are then able to find and sustain their levels of happiness, joy, and calm,” she advised.
Afridi referred to American existential psychologist Rollo May, who said that true happiness comes from creating and having meaning in life, rather than from hedonistic or material pursuits.
“To live a meaningful life,” Afridi said, “means assuming a purpose than is larger than the self. Loving someone and being loved is a meaningful phenomenon, for example, because such acts inspire people to live for, and take care of, someone other than the self.”
That sense of purpose, Afridi said, can also be attained by other means including following personal aspirations, art, religion and spirituality.
“We live in a time where everyone wants a quick fix. People want happiness and they want it fast. But to acquire it hastily means to lose it just as quickly. Sure, it is easier to seek happiness externally, but it is not sustainable. People must grasp the idea that all they need to be happy is in them, and all it takes is time and dedication until they find themselves in a consistent state of joyousness,” Afridi said.
Dr Mohammad S. Tahir, Head of Psychiatry Health-Call in Dubai Health Care City, said that our notions of happiness stem from some of our earliest experiences.
“Happiness is a relative term,” he said, “We see the world through our individual experiences. Our views about life, dreams and senses of achievement are all linked to our earliest life experiences.”
However, Tahir said that sometimes when people indulge in their emotions, and concentrate in some areas of life more than others, it may leave them feeling miserable and unfulfilled.
“Some people continue to capriciously jump from one thing to another with the belief that it will yield happiness,” Tahir said, “This implies a general lack of insight in the individual. They may conjure unrealistic goals and achievements and feel dispirited when they fail to meet them. I have also seen clients who have strived to achieve their goals only to find out that they are still unsatisfied and unhappy.”
Tahir said that finding happiness in material objects is a wild goose chase, and its sustainable form lies in continuously examining, inspecting and developing yourself.
“What people need to know is that happiness is not a destination,” he said, “it is a journey.”
For Nietzsche, happiness was a trophy of battle won after examining, interpreting and expressing the self. The German philosopher saw the creation of art as the zenith of happiness, where suffering was necessary before achieving self-fulfilment.
