It's funny how you can be cruising through life, thinking you know yourself inside out, and one day you stumble across something which makes you see yourself - and everybody else around you - in a completely different light. Suddenly you realise that, although you know how you like your eggs, and how you really feel about your husband's sister, you may not have taken the time to identify your essential, unchangeable, defining traits. Becoming aware of these traits can give you a clear insight into your life, your relationships and your career, and can help you make informed decisions that are right for you.
Corrina Cross is a Dubai-based marketing mogul who came into contact with a personality test, called behavioural styles analysis, four years ago. She says that finding out about behavioural styles has been a life-changing experience that has sent her off on a whole new career path and life mission. "Until now, behavioural style assessments have mainly been used by large corporations to identify which candidates would be best suited to particular roles. People do these ‘psychometric' tests when they go for an interview, the company decides who to employ, and the assessments are filed away never to be seen again. Hardly anybody thought of actually sharing the information with their new members of staff, which is very strange, says Cross
"When I stumbled across these tests, I realised how very powerful the results can be - not just in the working environment, but in life in general. After being related to someone your whole life, you can learn about behavioural styles and finally understand why they are the way they are, and why your relationship is how it is. It is my aim to arm as many people as possible with this information - their own unique personality type - so that they can understand themselves and others better."
Personality types
There are four main personality traits, whichwe all have in varyingdegrees - success-driven, fun-loving, helpful and methodical. Different combinations of these traits result in 15 common personality types: creative; promoter; result-orientated; persuader; counsellor; investigator; perfectionist; practitioner; achiever; agent; praiser; developer; inspirational; objective-thinker and specialist.
Nobody likes to be pigeon-holed into a personality box, and you may think you are a mix of a few different personalities. However, if we first understand that everyone has all four traits in varying degrees, meaning there are infinite amounts of different combinations, and then we recognise that these are just four traits of many, we can see that this assessment doesn't try to explain everything about your personality - it is just a simple way of defining your most dominant behavioural style.
Unchangeable traits
Very few people are an extreme form of just one behavioural style - most of us will be a combination of two, with the other two in lesser degrees. For example, if you are mainly success-driven but highly methodical, it doesn't mean that you are never or you can't be fun-loving and helpful, just that these two traits do not come naturally to you. "I always liken it to rowing a boat against a current," says Cross. "If you concentrate and put some effort in, you can row against the tide and be fun-loving, or methodical, but as soon as you become distracted, or tired, and put your oar down for a minute, your boat will naturally swing back to its natural course. So, it's better to just go with your natural flow in the first place."
Types in relationships
Once you accept the fact that you are who you are, and that you aren't going to change, it can help ease the pressure of relationships with contrasting behavioural types. Cross says, "Tendencies such as always being late or being neat and tidy might be endearing when a couple first get together, but once the honeymoon stage wears off, it can be irritating. With all the differences a couple can have, it's easy to see how relationships end in divorce."
By understanding that your partner's driving forces and priorities may be different from your own, and that in the same way that your dominant traits are not going to change, nor will theirs, we can take the pressure and frustration out of relationships. "We all judge the world through our own eyes and often get annoyed when people are not like us," says Cross. "Understanding what makes people tick helps us all to accept and tolerate each other... people can't help being the way they are."
Put into real life terms, if your success-driven, fun-loving husband doesn't seem to be considerate enough of your feelings, it may not be that he doesn't care, but just that he doesn't see the world in your helpful methodical way. Despite these potential behavioural type clashes, Cross doesn't advocate seeking out a specific behavioural type to have a relationship with. She says, "It doesn't matter what the combination is. The important point is to understand they will always be that way - just because they aren't like you, it doesn't mean they are wrong."
Your behaviour type is
METHODICAL
- Behaviour type twin: Bree Van der Kamp from Desperate Housewives
This type is very conscientious and has a keen attention to detail and quality. They are diplomatic, analytical and will avoid conflict at all costs. They like to have things clearly defined for them and may come across as a bit of a control freak. Cross says, "This person is a bit of a perfectionist. They are very good at being practical and realistic, but life and opportunities may pass them by while they are pondering over a decision. They don't like taking risks and often don't like big changes in their life."
Fun-loving
- Behaviour type twin: Rachel from Friends
Fun-loving types are good at connecting with people and use this skill to persuade and influence others to their way of thinking. They are articulate, motivating, entertaining and optimistic and work well in a group. Often popular, they may be interested in counselling and coaching. Cross says, "These people are spontaneous and are often the life and soul of the party, but can get carried away with it all. They are often juggling many balls at one time and try to cram too much in - this can mean they often don't finish things they have started."
Success-driven
- Behaviour type twin: Miranda from Sex and the City
This personality type is authoritative, a natural problem-solver and good at getting immediate results. They like to be faced with a challenge, often look at the bigger picture and are into a wide variety of hobbies and activities. Cross says, "These people are normally high achievers and in positions of power - such as CEOs or running their own company. They are very driven and rewards-focused, and have a very high potential to do well and accomplish many things, but they are often lonely and struggle to keep friendships going."
Helpful
- Behaviour type twin: Kate from Lost
This behaviour type is good at working with others, is consistent and patient, a good listener and creates a feeling of stability within a group. They are well suited to predictable routines, they like to be given credit for their efforts, and they are appreciative of the good things in their lives. Cross says, "These are the Mother Theresas of the world. They have lots of friends and everyone loves them, but their desire to help other people can be to their own detriment. They need to learn how to put their own oxygen mask on first so they are able to help others more."
Behaviour styles at work
Corrina Cross, behaviour styles analysis expert and workshop leader, says that it is important to be aware of behavioural styles when building a team for a project, or recruiting for a position. She says, "All companies and teams need representation from all four different behaviour styles. It is important to be aware of this to make sure you get the right balance of skills. If you set up a team with all success-driven people, for example, there will be lots of great ideas and energy flowing, but nothing will get done. If you have all fun-loving, helpful people, you will have a great working atmosphere and environment, but there will be a lack of driving force behind the project."
Additionally, different behavioural types are suited to different jobs. Success-driven individuals will suit high-pressure corporate environments; success-driven fun-loving types are good in sales roles; fun-loving helpful may suit PR or an events company; and methodical types are good at accountancy, IT, and other roles that require attention to detail. Cross says, "Look for a job that allows you to be yourself. Going against the grain just leads to stress and exhaustion in the long-term."
For more information on behavioural style analysis, or to book a spot on Corrina's next behavioural style workshop, email corrina@strategy-marketing.net.
