Gaiti rabbani, executive director, Coloured Stones and Pearls, Dubai Multi Commodities Centre
The trajectory of my life has much in common with the pearl oyster's. I have, in a similar way, cultured disagreeable conditions into positives.
Like the pearl oyster that protects itself by first creating layers around the irritant and then nurturing into a pearl, I adopted the same approach in many instances.
In my growing years I faced issues of identity. When my parents moved from Pakistan to England, they clung
on to a few inveterate traditional values. This at times made it difficult for my elder sister and me to integrate fully into English society.
I settled for an arranged marriage that I felt compelled to end due to differences in culture and beliefs. It became too challenging soon after I had my daughter, Zehra. And I found myself as a single mother.
The process gave me a strong sense of self and helped me voice my aspirations. It defined the person I was going to be.
My first job in Dubai was a matter of survival. In terms of education, I didn't qualify for one specific area of expertise. If you had to ask me then what I wanted to do with my professional life, I would have said, "I don't quite know."
My first job had a nondescript role and provided for the household. At the time, a close friend was in public relations with a retail company that did direct marketing.
I worked with her on a few of her projects. When she left, I applied for her position and got it. From public relations, I ventured into brand management with petroleum companies. Then I worked with the initial proposal for Dubai Media City.
I worked long hours. I had to liaise with international media directives yet still consider the UAE's cultural sensitivities. It was a challenge. I believe marketing as a discipline can be applied to any sector.
So I joined the Dubai Multi Commodities Centre (DMCC), a free trade zone for gold, diamonds, precious metals and other commodities. When they launched their gems and coloured stones division, I was given carte blanche. Management said, "It's a blank canvas. Do what you can with it."
I was on a plane to Australia to visit its northwestern Paspaley pearl farms – an area where phone networks don't operate.
It was an engrossing and touching experience. I found myself in the most peaceful environs. The workers I met were humble and inspiring. I have been fortunate to learn many skills on the job. When I first started, I knew nothing about public relations or more recently, about pearls. Now I deal with pearl producers from Bangkok to Tahiti and Japan. (I signed up for a course on pearls to increase my knowledge.)
My daughter is an extension of my strong qualities.
Zehra is 16. She is a beautiful and confident girl. Though I believe I have played a role to shape her character, I have allowed her freedom of expression.
We have healthy debates. She stands up for her beliefs. I like that. We share a close friendship rather than a mother-daughter relationship. She is a much stronger person than I was at her age.
I remarried four years ago. Erlank is a wonderful, supportive husband. Ours was a fairy-tale wedding. What I love about him is that he is unconventional and he doesn't expect the norm.
I seek balance – it's my ideal state of mind.
It is a conscious effort. It percolates to every area of my life. I also invest a lot of energy and commitment in every activity I get involved in – whether it's learning salsa or training for a charity mountain hike. I have to ration time for work and personal life. When I say personal life, I include family and private time. I need to set aside time for myself to re-energise. I enjoy travelling.
I love nature and enjoy the verdancy of the woods and mountains. If you ask my friends to describe my nature, they'll say that I have a sensible and wild side. We have been up to mad, unexpected and crazy activities. I think my sensible side comes from being a mother. While it keeps me grounded, it also allows me to put myself out there.
I am drastically different compared to the Gaiti of 15 years ago. I don't refer to my professional growth or material ambitions. I am a fiercely determined person today. I wasn't earlier. My assertive deportment was limited to certain areas of activity. When I was younger, I had a task.
I had to retrieve the Sunday newspaper from the newsagent for my father. I had to walk for several minutes to reach the agent. And for my troubles I would get one pound, which I could use to buy a chocolate of my choice for dad, sister and myself.
Even inclement weather didn't deter. I would plough my way through knee-deep snow to buy my reward – usually
a Mars bar. It would freeze by the time I reached home, but I had to have it.
I took up salsa dancing after watching a performance. I entered a few competitions too. It gave me confidence. Today I can walk into any salsa club on my own and dance
the hours away. I have done so in different countries.
Looking back, I realise that the determination was about survival and the aspirations I had for Zehra and myself.
– As told to Carolina D'Souza, Lifestyle Features Coordinator, Friday
