Come on, admit it… You love SUVs. Don't you? It's true that seemingly every other person out there professes their hatred for those mammoth abominations that run amok on our roads terrorising small hatchbacks. But these very people would jump at the first opportunity to get behind the wheel of one of these 4x4s. How do we know? Because we too fall into this hypocritical group of motorists who fail to see any reason for SUVs to exist, but drool over the prospect of ripping the tarmac up in one. What if the set of wheels in question is pulled along by more than 500 angry horses? There's no way you're going to let it pass. Even if you don't see the point.
This week, we've pitted three of the maddest SUVs in town against each other: the Porsche Cayenne Turbo, the Range Rover Sport Supercharged and the BMW X5M. And however much you pretend to be disinterested, we know you're going to read right through this article and then come back to do it all over again.
BMW X5M
The BMW X5M thundered into our best cars list last year when we had it for a couple of days. We knew right away that this 555bhp monster was going to be our premium SUV of the year. It was just the beginning of a long and exciting relationship, with BMW letting us spend some quality time with the big M.
This two-tonne leviathan throws the laws of physics into disarray in its fiery trail. The 4.4-litre V8 that's force-fed by a twin-scroll turbo is mated to a six-speed automatic gearbox which smoothly transfers the 555 Teutonic horses and 680Nm of torque to the full time all-wheel drive system. Although the Porsche Cayenne has an eight-speed 'box and is better around corners, the X5M is no less a thriller to drive.
At 4.7 seconds to 100kph from nowt, and 0-200kph in 16.9 seconds, the X5M is astoundingly quick. The latest iDrive is a breeze to use and lets you easily customise the X5M's performance. Both the suspension and stability controls can be set to sport mode and the latter can also be switched to M dynamic mode to make the system less intrusive. Although you can tinker with power and traction control settings in iDrive, you can, alternatively, just hit the M button on the steering wheel to bring out the car's insanity in full.
The Motorsport division has added enough M accents around the exterior and interior of the car so that no one mistakes it for the regular X5. The gaping vents up front, the quad tailpipes and the M badges on the sides and the rear announce the car's sporting intentions. It's quick and exhilarating to drive, but the whole point of having an SUV is not just speed. It's utility as well.
Although it has reasonable luggage space and seats five adults, the comfort factor of a luxury SUV is missing. The bench seats at the rear are just that. Not any more comfortable than a bench. And even at the softest setting, the ride quality is nowhere close to that of the Range Rover or the Porsche.
Specs & rating
- Model: X5M
- Engine: 4.4-litre V8 turbo
- Transmission: Six-speed auto AWD
- Max power: 555bhp @ 6,000rpm
- Max torque: 680Nm @ 1,500rpm
- Top speed: 250kph
- 0-100kph: 4.7sec
- Price: Dh465,000
- Plus: 555bhp. Need we say anymore?
- Minus: Uncomfortable ride
RR Sport Supercharged
The British marque definitely looks more dignified than its German counterparts. The Porsche Cayenne Turbo and the BMW X5M do not bother to hide their rowdy characters, while the Land Rover manages to pull it off with class.
With the Range Rover Sport Supercharged, you get an athlete in a tuxedo, and its boxy exterior effectively conceals 510 horses under the bonnet. Although the impressive horsepower figure and the torque of 625Nm put it in the same category as the other two, the Rangey is markedly slower to 100kph at 6.2 seconds. The overall design, the plush leather seats and the lofty driving position make it the best family SUV of the lot, with the Porsche coming a close second. The 5.0-litre V8, the same lump that powers the Jaguar XKR, tops out at 225kph, although it'll be destroyed in a drag race with the other two. A study in what not to do in aerodynamics, the Range Rover Sport isn't the best handler here and doesn't inspire confidence in corners like the other two.
However, when it comes to refinement and comfort, it trumps the competition hands down. The 2010 models' revamped air suspension gives it a luxurious ride that the others can hardly match. Also, true to its name, the Range Rover is more capable off road, thanks to its terrain response, sand launch control and hill descent control systems. Although, good luck with those 20in wheels, lo-pro Michelins and bodykit...
Specs & rating
- Model: Sport Supercharged
- Engine: 5.0-litre V8 supercharged
- Transmission: Six-speed auto RWD
- Max: power 510bhp @ NA
- Max: torque 625Nm @ NA
- Top: speed 225kph
- 0-100kph: 6.3sec
- Price: Dh395,000
- Plus: Good looking and refined, great equipment levels
- Minus: Build quality not as good as the others
Porsche Cayenne Turbo
278. Mission accomplished. That ridiculous three digit number is the Porsche's top speed. But you know what? You can sit on 270kph all day (on the Autobahn, of course) and not only that, the Cayenne Turbo feels eager for V-max's starting with the number ‘3', such is the ferocity of its 4.8-litre powerplant. In terms of power though, all bets are off — with 500bhp the Porsche loses.
Then again, when you have 700Nm of torque, so what?
And despite the fact that the BMW can easily tail it for as long as you want, the Porsche will always lean into the corner more confidently, communicate its lateral intentions through the steering wheel more intuitively and generally do a better job of behaving like a car instead of a truck. The RR will just be left wallowing about in the back — sure the powerplant is neat, but its dynamics are nowhere near the Germans. The Rangey feels exactly what it is; a huge SUV.
"Ah yes, but you can go over dunes in it!" Perhaps, little ones, but it's too luxurious to really take it anywhere near them. Even the guys over in Gaydon will tell you it's not a proper off-roading vehicle. You don't buy a performance SUV and trek it in the desert. Which means in this company, the Porsche shines most brightly in the department that really matters: speed.
And here's another number you get to boast about — eight. Yes, the new gearbox has eight ratios (with the first being ultra short to replace the locking diff of the old car, but you don't really care about that) and for once, it's not too many. Because the flawless changes make every effort to disguise themselves, successfully. The only problem is that you'll have no idea off the top of your head which gear you're in.
Dynamically the Cayenne is a class apart. BMW's M guys sure did a good job but the artificial steering feel has no place in anything German and the ride is bone jarring. The Cayenne can soothe if necessary and then pop your eyes out with its rabid acceleration the next moment.
In the Porka you can also average around 22mpg (good luck in the Sport Supercharged or the X5M), and youget adjustable air suspension (hence the comfort, which the RR also benefits from), plus there's the Stuttgart carmaker's PASM system with PDCC, or Porsche Dynamic Chassis Control. Basically this wizardry turns an SUV into a monster that can outrun an entry-level Carrera on the track. Seriously, it's that good.
Couple this admirable performance to great looks — admit it, compared to the old model it's like putting Scarlett Johansson next to Ugly Betty — and an interior fit for the Sultan of Brunei, and you can easily see why Porsche Middle East isn't phased to charge a hefty premium over the other two.
Specs & rating
- Model: Cayenne Turbo
- Engine: 4.8-litre V8 turbo
- Transmission: Eight-speed auto AWD
- Max power: 500bhp @ 6,000rpm
- Max torque: 700Nm @ 4,500rpm
- Top speed: 278kph
- 0-100kph: 4.7sec
- Price: Dh474,300
- Plus: Great ride, handling and loads of torque
- Minus: Cluttered centre console
Verdict
The Rangey is the cheapest and you get an awful lot for your dirhams. To be perfectly honest it's a brilliant car. Alone.
In the company of two serious Germans, it's left wanting, barring maybe when it comes to its dignified looks. You can easily step out of this thing in front of Buckingham Palace and make the Queen look noveau riche.
But even the famed Range Rover cabin design and build quality isn't anywhere near the Teutonic efforts. You might just start thinking how raspy the Supercharged's plastics are after climbing out of the Bimmer or Porsche.
Then there's the M which loses out only because it's not as comfortable as the Rangey or the Cayenne. All you get is relentless power and acceleration, but believe it or not, people want to relax every once in a while, BMW, so try thinking about slightly softer suspension next time around. And for goodness sake, bring back steering that feels like it's actually physically attached to the front axle.
Therefore, rather deservingly the Cayenne Turbo takes the top step of the podium proudly brandishing its wheels gold medal. Everything it does, is a class benchmark — even some sportscars can learn a thing or two here.
In fact, the new Porsche Cayenne Turbo is so good, we're a little suspicious of doping. (The only thing it won't do is off-roading, but then, what on earth do you expect from an SUV these days?)
