I may as well hang up my keyboard and fireproof FIA-approved Sparco boots because I’ve reached the pinnacle of my motoring journalistic career — someone actually took my advice and bought a car I recommended.
Sure, there were plenty of puzzled stares first, as I rattled out suggestions such as “used M5, used M3, used 911, right-hand drive Caterham Roadsport,” only to finally reach the verdict, which was a brand new Nissan Juke.
And to be fair, the Juke may have got the vote only because of a process of elimination, since my earlier suggestions of everything off a certain website with search parameters “manual transmission” and “pre-1995” ticked, elicited a constant stream of curse words from my neighbour who stupidly came to me for advice.
So now I’m on a roll, sitting pretty on my high horse and ready to tell you all about which luxury saloon you should get next. Obviously the answer is a used M5, but if you want to get all rational, then make it a default S-Class. Not so fast though, because there is a new contender that just arrived in town. I drove the new Cadillac XTS all around Hollywood and up and down Pacific Coast Highway, and I just might be recommending this to the next ignoramus who can’t appreciate the virtues of a used 5 Series with a Formula 1 derived V10.
More than anything, in Hollywood I was relishing the chance to experience Mulholland Drive; the 34km-long automotive proving ground draped over the Santa Monica Mountains. If there’s anything Mulholland Drive’s corkscrew twists and turns could reveal on this test drive, it’s where Cher lives. And also, how good this new all-wheel drive Cadillac chassis is — possibly. But first, what exactly is the Cadillac XTS? In one fell swoop the General’s halo brand has pan-dusted the Cadillac STS and DTS into the annals of automotive history. Nobody will miss them much.
The STS was rear-wheel drive and the DTS front-wheel drive, so Cadillac decided not to alienate anyone and logically combined the two to make the XTS all-wheel drive. At least in our Middle-East spec — elsewhere you’ll be able to pick up this BMW 7 Series rival in torque-steering front-drive mode. The XTS sits on GM’s Epsilon II platform, designed to accept transverse engine applications and underpin stuff like the Opel Insignia, Buick LaCrosse and Chevrolet Malibu.
That obviously means no V8s, before you ask. Thankfully the XTS’s platform is much enlarged here to become the Super Epsilon II, and since the 3.6-litre V6 engine sits pointing the wrong way in the bay, it’s freed up miles of sheetmetal to be used between the two driven axles. The XTS is long and sleek, with a 2,837mm-long wheelbase nestled within a 5,131mm body. To put that into perspective, the Cadillac is only 6mm shorter than Audi’s gargantuan A8, and its wheelbase is 155mm shy of the German’s.
In all-wheel drive guise the XTS weighs 1,912kg, which is slightly more than a comparative six-cylinder BMW 7 Series and Audi A8, but less than Merc’s S-Class. It’s also taller than any of the Germans, but narrower, which should lend it slightly wonky proportions yet doesn’t. The Caddy looks sharp and oozes presence with generous use of chrome and accentual lighting. Its surface details are crisp and modern, possibly scaring away many potential old-age-home-dwelling Cadillac buyers, but likely to gain the firm a new generation of fans.
The XTS’s interior designers, too, deserve a tap on the back from their boss Barack Obama. Everything that looks like metal or wood, is metal or wood (that doesn’t mean it’s wood if it looks like metal), and the leather wrapping every comfortable chair in this thing is soft and supple. There is a huge amount of room for rear passengers, as well as loads of space for cargo in the boot.
One of the XTS’s biggest selling points, however, is its list of technologically advanced equipment. It’s a very long list, and I won’t copy-paste verbatim, but here’s the gist of it: an industry-first safety seat that vibrates to alert the driver, Forward Collision Alert, Lane Departure Warning, Side Blind Zone Alert, Rear Cross Traffic Alert. Basically this thing is pretty alert, as alert as a caffeinated seven-year-old.
Then there’s the Haldex all-wheel-drive system with an electronically controlled limited-slip differential, which isn’t as good as a mechanical one but it still works well, plus road-ironing Magnetic Ride Control, quick-settling and cosseting rear air suspension, Brembo stoppers, and that direct-injected 3.6-litre V6 worth 305bhp and 355Nm of torque.
It’s a very nice unit, all aluminium so lightweight, which can only be good for the front-end response considering the burden already placed on the dynamics by the Hydra Matic six-speed automatic mounted so far forward it’s practically hanging off the bumper. The peak torque comes in high up, but the rest of it is available very early and it keeps the car tugging forward with a shove from the back, rather than a pull from the rear. The all-wheel drive is good, then.
The XTS is superbly poised, elegant, and smooth with its hefty weight transitions. It’s not the sprightliest thing to take down Mulholland Drive, but it handles neutrally and safely, blessed with assured road-holding and is composed enough for me to totally blitz past Cher’s house. I hear she drives a Camaro. Way to keep it patriotic.
So far I’m properly impressed with the XTS, and not just because I was expecting the dynamics of a bloated Malibu. But then the XTS rolls out its trump card, called CUE. Since the model comes to the Middle East exclusively in top-spec Platinum trim (14-speaker Bose sound system, tri-zone AC, 12.3in colour instrument cluster, head-up display, vented front seats, electric rear window shades, choice of six interior colour/trim combos) all of our cars get CUE, a customisable user interface on an 8.0in display in the centre stack.
Cue means Cadillac User Experience, and it features proximity sensors and gesture recognition — if you can use an iPad you can use CUE. This innovation is the XTS’ central nervous system, controlling everything intuitively from the AC, to the sat-nav, and simply all of the car’s commands. If you pair it up with your smartphone then you can muck around that way too. And it’s not infuriating like Ford’s SYNC system either — this actually works.
Unfortunately I simply didn’t have enough time to explore CUE properly, even with Stuart Norris, CUE design manager, sitting with me in the car. The system is just too powerful and comprehensive to be learned in one day, but what’s clear is that this learning experience (even though it would take about a week) would be amusing.
Now I’ve thrown a lot of bold words at you in this review, such as Audi, BMW, and Mercedes. The XTS can rationally be cross-shopped with any of the three, thanks to its serene drive and ride quality, its interior amenities and comfort, and the level of technology it affords the owner. It’s a great car, and I thoroughly recommend it. And therein lies the problem.
