Mercedes' G-Wagen has come a long way in its 30-year history, from the mud-plugging transport of the German army through to a status symbol beloved by executives, UAE entrepreneurs and US rappers alike.
This utilitarian beast has transformed into the king of the urban jungle, in part thanks to Mercedes' refusal to abandon the tough, boxy shape that defined the original car. It's a tank with a luxury badge and, in the case of the G55 AMG, a big engine. That has brought the tuners like moths to the flame and there have been some truly outrageous examples. But this one, the Mansory G-Couture, is the endgame, the full stop, the atom bomb of G-Wagens. Because this machine goes beyond tuning, this is the G-Wagen replete with the engine from the almighty Mercedes SLR.
And as it explodes into life in the grand entrance hall of the company HQ in Hoffenheim, just a stone's throw from the Czech border, it almost doesn't matter that the car makes no logical sense. This is quite simply the biggest, baddest, most extreme machine of its kind and Mansory will have no trouble at all selling all seven — even with a base price of 500,000 euros (Dh2.26 million) for the "very basic version". The car before our eyes costs upwards of 700,000 euros (Dh3.16 million), and there will be more expensive variants.
Khourosh Mansory has never been one for timid conversions and has brought us everything from the wide body Bentleyto the naked carbon fibre Bugatti Veyron and a ‘distinctive' blue-and-yellow Panamera. The world's press is divided on his creations and yet Mansory himself revels in the attention, even when the press rips into him.
The naked carbon look has become his calling card in recent years and he went for the works with the G-Couture. The front apron and rear skirt are completely new, but there are obvious problems with ditching the main body and so the roof and side panels are simply added over the original steel.
So the carbon fibre on show here isn't designed to save weight, it's all about the looks, and whether you love it or loathe it, there is no denying the car's pure impact. Sat on the polished marble floor, it looks pure evil — a huge, dark, menacing presence. Its angular appearance serves to increase the size and everywhere I look there's another razor-sharp edge, another vent, another box section.
The front end is a work of art, though, as this level of detail in carbon is night-on impossible. The louvred vent-style corners don't actually conceal a vent at all, but it looks the part, and the blades across the front look ready to slice and dice the car in front when it looms large in the rear-view mirror, and feed the remains through the gaping vent in the bonnet.
The slab sides at least look in proportion with those gigantic 23in wheels and then there's the back, which is somehow utilitarian and stark despite the expensive materials that even extend to the spare wheel cover. That is part of the G-Class's charm, but Mansory has added its own touches like soft-close and one-touch opening doors to help justify the price and remove the strain of pulling open these giant slabs of metal from the magnate buyer.
It needed a skidplate to protect the carbon from stone chips, too, but shaping it like a diffuser is optimistic at best. Air can do a great deal, but it cannot suck 2.3 tonnes of metal to the floor like a race car. Which is a shame, because at the speeds this car can reach, it needs all the help it can get to stick to the road.
Inside, the G-Couture is a simple work of wonder. There are more vast expanses of carbon fibre covering the wheel and centre console and Mansory has even done away with the base seats and replaced them with figure-hugging racing numbers with carbon fibre shells. Once again Mansory provides interiors to much of the tuning industry as a whole and so the leatherwork is second to none, with perfectly stitched seats that are more stylish than anything most of us have at home and the trademark stamped leather lining the doors and even the roof.
A state-of-the-art entertainment system keeps the passengers happy, while the driver concentrates on keeping the caron the road. In the wet, that could bequite a challenge.
Because even the G55 AMG is simply quick, the G-Couture is window-licking crazy. As I spark the 5.7-litre supercharged power plant into life the glass in the vast hall quivers, blipping the throttle could literally bring the house down — it's that loud. Those side exhausts aren't quite as glamorous as they look, those square covers simply house standard circular numbers, but the noise is beyond exotic. How Mansory gets the parts to build the engine up to SLR spec remains a mystery, but rest assured Khourosh has the contacts to get such things done. All we need to know is that the result is a 700bhp engine with 881Nm of torque, which is insane ina car this size.
There's no time to drink it in, though, we're headed for the open road and the storm that has enveloped this small corner of East Germany. It's hardly the ideal day to test a supercar in a fat suit, but it's our only chance and Mansory's marketingboss Michael Stein insists we get out there and plant the throttle to feel the sheer madness of this creation. And at least it's still four-wheel-drive…
I don't wait, with the car in ‘Drive'I stamp on the throttle, feel the box skip several gears and drop the engine right into the sweet spot. There's a violent shunt underfoot, as if something vital has sheared clean in half. But it hasn't, it's just the microsecond of warning I get before the engine simply kicks the car up the road like a football. Broken down into slow motion it's a rocking motion as the engine tries to yank the front end off and then the monstrous G-Wagen catches its own weight and catapults forward on its lowered air suspension. But we don't have the luxury of a life in slow motion, we just have to deal with the sensory assault in real time speed.
The raw figures say it does 100kph in 4.3 seconds and will go all the way to 254kph, which isn't the highest top speed in the world but you have to remember how much weight it is pulling. And sat high up and looking down on the world, the dash from the line is a surreal feeling, it's like driving a rocket-powered bus.
In the wet, the top end of the high speed envelope is totally out of reach, like the peak of Everest, as even a brief run up to 100kph brings me out in a cold sweat as the car starts to slide wide on a sweeping bend. This car was due to go out to a customer from the Middle East the day after our drive, and it would not be goodto bend his new weapon.
It would take weeks to find the true limits of this machine, too, as the goal was to create an overpowered monster bus and such cars are an anomaly; there is no frame of reference. So it is useless to even try to compare the handling to a sports saloon or even a Ferrari that could be had for way less money. The Mansory G-Couture is truly unique, a motoring oddity, a weapon of mass destruction in a straight line that is too heavy to really throw round corners.
But the technicalities simply won't matter to the kind of man that can afford a G-Couture. This is a car for the man who has the best of everything. He will likely have a Ferrari, an SLR and a whole fleet of supercars in the climate-controlled garage already, but this is a different vibe, a statement car. When even your SUV comes with a supercar engine you have truly arrived in the world and with all the badge-hungry, ostentatious rappers and entrepreneurs in this world, I suspect that seven won't nearly be enough.
Specs and rating
Model Mansory G-Couture
Engine 5.7-litre supercharged V8 Transmission Five-speed auto, AWD
Max power 700bhp @ NA
Max torque 881Nm @ NA
Top speed 254kph
0-100kph 4.3sec
Price Dh3.16m (As tested)
Plus Mad, bad and totally wild. Did we mention 700bhp?
Minus There's only seven of them
