Named after Milan and Torino, the Alfa Romeo Mito is just the tiniest drop of 8C Competizione. And that's a good thing.
It's the mid-Eighties: The scene is an Eastern European mountain town. I'm knee high and my dad's just won four numbers on the state lottery. Yeah boy! Time to replace the family's aging Fiat 500!
We caught a tram to the other side of town, since the 500 let us down, again, to look at an Alfa Romeo Alfasud: Olive-green and powered by a 1.2-litre engine, boasting 73 pure-bred Italian stallions. I'd never heard of that much horsepower in my life before, so I whined and tugged on my dad's shirt, pleading for him to buy it on the spot. But sense prevailed and we ended up with a Volkswagen Golf, the king of hot hatches at the time. The little Alfa never left its corner of my heart. When I heard the Mito was in town, I finally got my chance to sample a front-wheel drive Turanese baby hot hatch.
Actually, the Mito gets its name from Milan and Turin (Milano and Torino in Italian), since it's designed in the former and built in the latter. Mito also means ‘myth', so I'll break it to you right now: The Alfa Romeo Mito is sure to become a legend, at least in hot-hatch circles. Even though its engine isn't a 2.5-litre or even a moderate (by today's standards) 2.0-litre. The turbocharged 1.4-litre four pot is so sweet, it could've come straight out of Willy Wonka's factory.
The figures are tasty, too: The Mito's inline-four breathes through 16 valves and pumps 155 horses at a sky-high 5,500rpm and there's 230Nm of torque available from 3,000rpm, while wheel-spinning to 100kph in just less than eight seconds and snapping through its six speeds all the way to 215kph.
But that's just the thing: The Mito is a mouthful — of honey, chill, tiramisu and 98 octane all mixed up. It's a hot hatch and an “Aw, how cute!''-magnet; it's a city car and a B-road ripper.
Pieces of 8
Inspired by the gorgeous Alfa 8C Competizione, the Mito has a beautiful behind, incorporating just two circular tail lamps: A welcome change from today's oversized lights, most of which seem to be unnecessarily large. The Mito keeps it simple in this regard, as it does up front, with a familiar Alfa triangular grille flanked by some headlights. It's a personal matter, really, whether you like the squint front or not. Some people think it's cute, others say it's cross-eyed. I love it. It's like a stupid friend, the one in the gang that always acts a clown. That's Alfa: Always having to be different and idiotic.
So this time it went with a cross-eyed front fascia and, in my opinion, it just gives it more of a dumb-friend-you-can-never-let-go character. The wheels are also in-your-face three-spokes. I mean, who does three-spokes, these days? I haven't seen rims like that since the first Dodge Viper. It's suicide: Offering three-spokes on a global model is a sure fire way to drag the company to bankruptcy, which is why nobody dares do it.
But on the Mito, they work marvelously, really rounding off the body shape well. They're 18in too and definitely the style to go for if you want to stand out. You just watch: Others will soon follow and three-spoke rims will be back in fashion by the end of the year.
Not many cars can truly say they have character anymore, but the Mito oozes it. You can become attached to this Alfa, and that's before you've even stepped inside.
When you do, it's pleasant in there, too, with body-hugging sports seats (only wrapped in cloth, though) a curvy dash, covered with a carbon-fibre style material (that somehow manages to not look tacky at all), a three-spoke steering wheel of a perfect diameter and rim girth, and a stout little gear stick in the middle.
Just in front of it is a small metal switch that grabs your attention with the word ‘Dynamic' written above. Naturally, this is the first switch to push, and, then you're in sport mode…
Little red line
Getting off the line in a Mito is an old-school affair. It's a proper manual, not a fake one, with an electronic nanny or the kind some manufacturers try to dump on you without a clutch pedal. The way to do it is floor the throttle, snap the gear lever into first and dump the clutch like your left leg's just gone seized up. You'll fly off the line without any torque steer to speak of and, before you've even reached the next set of traffic lights, you'll be grabbing second, then third, yes still on the throttle, fourth, fifth, oh boy we're flying now, and finally sixth. It's not even that fast in reality — like I said, it takes eight seconds to reach 100kph — but it feels blisteringly quick, because you're red-lining it so much. And the Mito just loves the punishment. It only really wants to play above 4,000rpm.
Anyway, you're now fast approaching the traffic light, so you have to slam on brakes because it's turned red. You jab the middle pedal and come to a halt exactly where you aimed, since the brake pedal feel is fantastically communicative. So is the steering, so if the Mito starts squirming under heavy braking, it's easy to bring things straight again. This hot hatch really is a chatty one. It lets you know precisely what's going on at all times. Every drive is responsive and intuitive and the car really knows how to reward an enthusiastic petrolhead.
I'm in the market for a car right now and all I was interested in after my test drive was the price: It's that good. It's enough to buy on impulse and on the spot. Too bad that I'm so cheap and the Mito costs Dh99,999.
That's great value anyway, when you consider the Mini Cooper S will set you back a good Dh25,000 more. But the Cooper S is also faster, although nothing has the soul of the Alfa Romeo Mito.
Some fault the looks, others fault the hairy (ie. brilliant) handling, but nobody can dispute the fact best friends are always best if they're flawed.
