1. No traffic camera will catch you if you miss your scuba safety stop.
2. Divers who look good with their mask on are usually not so pretty without one.
3. Sharks don’t like the taste of rubber, so I always have my wetsuit on when I go diving in an unfamiliar place.
4. Objects appear significantly larger under water. So yes, I do look fat in that wetsuit.
5. Expensive as your dive computer is, I’m afraid you can’t expect it to run Windows Vista...
6. Any attempt to look graceful while walking on land wearing a pair of fins and full scuba gear is definitely going to generate a lot of laughter from your audience.
7. It’s gross at first to know that rubbing your own saliva into your mask is the accepted way of stopping it from fogging up at depth. But expensive de-fogging sprays in stores are merely spit-in-a-can things.
8. A lost calorie while diving is easily gained back the moment you ascend up to the boat for the usual end-of-dive buffet lunch.
9. Whenever non-divers ask, “What do you see down there?” I’m always tempted to respond, “Oh, an octopus, some sharks, a few sea monsters, mermaids…”
10. Anyone who says they have never been afraid while diving either hasn’t been diving or is lying.
