I hate the term "cougar" but that might be because my age keeps cruelly increasing year on year and in the meantime, all young men seem to be getting more attractive and ones my age baldy and fat.
Though I would be a few years off being banded with the "c" word — even if I do land myself a boyfriend five years my junior — I suspect the term is exclusive to only the most glamorous of ladies of a certain age.
It's certainly not the concept behind the word that upsets me. Why would it? Madonna has always been something of an inspiration to me. I like to think of myself as a feminist and her "don't give a stuff" attitude is exactly what I would like to be if I had the guts (and the millions stashed in the bank might help too).
If I was in her position, I would have loved to ditch my loser hubby, nip off on a world tour and pick up a beautiful Brazilian male model in my spare time.
But Madonna is a law unto herself. Nobody will ever be like her but still, when you think of the word "cougar", you think of predatory women, Botoxed to the hilt, honeyed highlights and a high-powered job who hunt for beautiful men who will worship the ground they walk on.
It's definitely an empowering image and one that beats the idea of slaving over dinner while your ungrateful fiftysomething hubby watches the football match in the next room.
But with my scruffy style and lack of confidence, being a cougar seems as unattainable as me being asked to model for the next cover of US Vogue.
It took me six months to summon the courage to even smile at my last boyfriend before we got together, so I can't imagine I will ever be the type to pluck twentysomethings from college gates.
Men have been dating women younger than themselves for years and it's about time we caught on — but why the horrendous name? "Cougar" gives connotations of Mrs Robinson-esque encounters and emotional coldness. There is nothing feline and predatory about my style but that doesn't mean younger men don't and won't always appeal to me.
The term is as demeaning and irrelevant as the term "sugar daddy" — sure, they exist, but they don't in any way represent the majority of age-difference relationships.
The terms both insinuate a money and power aspect that I am uncomfortable with.
What a shame, when we should be celebrating the fact that women have increasing freedom to date whoever they like. What a way to cheapen the concept.
I suspect there are fewer women who would like to be referred to as a "cougar" than young men out there may hope there are.
Many of us would certainly consider dating someone younger — with the enthusiasm for life, ambition and taut limbs that comes with it — I, for one, would rather the age difference was made into a big deal. After all, a lady never tells her age.
I love the idea that women are breaking conventions and dating exactly who they want. My only plea, though, is that they spare some of the Jesus Luz-a-likes for the rest of us.
