Suri Cruise: Out of control

The look on Katie Holmes’ face as six-year-old Suri threw a major tantrum in New York last week said it all. Calmly taking away the little girl’s ice cream after she started misbehaving – causing Suri to dissolve into fits of tears and foot-stamping – the actress simply looked as if she’d seen it all before and that her daughter’s meltdown was nothing new in the Cruise household. But while Suri’s tantrum might be seen as the actions of a spoilt little girl, the fact that it was 9pm on the streets of the Big Apple after a pizza dinner, a time when experts agree that little girls of her age should be tucked up in bed and sleeping soundly, could put the tantrum down to extreme tiredness.

But a lack of structure at bedtime is just one of the ways in which Suri gets her own way, with her Scientologist parents following their ‘religion’s’ method of child-rearing, which views children as ‘little adults’ – or as Scientology literature states, “A child is a man or a woman who has not attained full growth”.

‘She always gets her own way’

“She likes to dress herself and wears whatever she wants,” says Tom of his youngest daughter. “I’m not gonna tell her different”; with Katie adding, “Suri picks out all her own clothes.” And the actor’s approach is in keeping with his religion’s beliefs that children should be allowed to do what they want when they want.

“What terrible willpower is demanded of a parent not to give constant streams of directions to a child. What agony to watch his possessions going to ruin. What upset to refuse to order his time and space. But it has to be done if you want a well, a happy, a careful, a beautiful, an intelligent child,” says Scientology about raising children to do what they want when they want – and it’s an approach that Tom and Katie adhere to strictly.

And the six-year-old getting her own way extends to all areas of her life, with one source spilling of a post-New York dinner incident, “She often throws tantrums when she’s out with Katie and Tom.” Adding of a recent row over getting into her special car seat, “Suri won and didn’t have to sit in [it].”

The Boss Of The House

It was with pride that Tom recently said of his daughter, “I say to Suri, ‘I really want you to eat this protein if you’re going to have that sugar.’ She looks at me and she goes, ‘Dad, I don’t think you should try to force me to do something I don’t want to do.’” And the idea of ‘forcing’ a child to do something against their will – even if it’s for their own benefit – is an anathema to Scientology teachings, which calls a child, “more dignified than you are.”
“[My daughter] got to make some decisions for herself,” insisted one US Scientology source. “One example: it had been snowing, she wanted to go outside, I suggested she may want to put on a hat, shoes and a coat. Nope, she didn’t want to. OK, fine.” Whilst another adds, “If the kids wanted to play in the rain, we let them. If it was too cold we warned them, then let them make their own choices.”

With mum and dad calling their youngest “determined” and “strong-willed” what Suri wants Suri gets, including being carried everywhere by her parents and dictating how her parents live their lives. “If Suri doesn’t like Katie‘s shoes, she’ll take them off. Tom, too,” spilled an insider. “He does whatever Suri wants. He defers to her on everything.” And the pair’s ultimate deference to a six-year-old works in accordance with Scientology’s anti-control approach, which states that, “If you want to control your child, simply break him into complete apathy and he’ll be as obedient as any hypnotised half-wit.”

Tantrums are Suri’s ‘right’

Scientologists believe that when a child acts out they are doing so because the parent is in the wrong and has tried to ‘control’ them when they should not have.

“The child wrecks your nerves when you [tell them what to do or how to behave],” says Scientology. “That’s revenge. He cries. He pesters you. He breaks your things. He ‘accidentally’ spills his milk. And he wrecks the possession on purpose… because he is fighting for his own self-determinism.”

And insiders say that Tom and Katie view Suri’s tantrums as indicative that they are failing as parents and that a child must “fight against… annoy and harass an enemy”, who has sought to control them.

“I’m not one of those people who believe you can spoil a child with too much love,” says Tom of his parenting approach. Whilst Katie admits to deferring to style-savvy Suri when it comes to her own fashion choices.

“I’ll say, ‘Suri what do you think?’ And she’ll say, ‘Definitely those. Those,’” says Katie of her red-carpet outfit choices. “And she won’t let me leave the house unless I’m wearing what she wants me to wear. She’s got great taste. And I want to
make her happy.”

And Suri’s permitted to do whatever she wants with her own Dhs18 million wardrobe, as per Scientology rules – and with mum’s blessing. “Clothes, toys, quarters, what he has been given, must remain under his exclusive control,” says the religion about a child’s possessions. “So he tears up his shirt, wrecks his bed, breaks his fire engine. It’s none of your business.” And it’s a rule Katie adheres to, revealing, “She says, ‘I want this sleeve cut,’ and it’s like, ‘OK, we’ll cut it.’”