You've just survived the morning tussle with traffic. Your are late for an appointment. There's steam hissing out of your ears as you walk into the office. Your blood pressure is a few notches above 120/70. Your mind sees red. Your heart feels dread. It's the start of another day.
It's no wonder stress is the most overused word in today's lexicon. If only you could treat it, like you do a physical ailment – say, for example, heart disease.
Heart disease claims one in five people in the United States. Coronary heart disease occurs when arteries supplying blood to the heart become progressively clogged by plaque. Artery blockages reduce the blood flow to the heart, resulting in chest pain and even heart attacks. When tests indicate severe blockages, interventional procedures are carried out.
In over 70 per cent of interventions for heart disease, a stent (a tiny metal structure) is mounted on an angioplasty balloon, which is inserted into a clogged or narrow blood vessel and inflated. Having widened the vessel, the balloon is deflated and then withdrawn, leaving the stent to do the perpetual split to keep the walls of the artery open while the healing process begins.
But what we don't connect is, many a time, the heart is the victim of what begins in the mind. Stress, uncontrolled. If only we paid as much attention to our mental health, we would be certainly less stressed and our physical organs would suffer less damage.
Perhaps what we need then are mental stents – to be put in place before you get to the point where your mental arteries are clogged with resentment, anger, fear, anxiety and negativity.
Think of the mind as you would think of the heart. How do we purify our mental blood and oxygenate it in order to have a healthy ‘mindbeat'? How do we unclog our mental arteries?
To understand what happens when your heart is stressed, think of a garden hose turgid with water and without an outlet. The harder you squeeze it, the higher the pressure rises inside the hose. If the pressure gets too much, the hose bursts. Likewise, when the mind is overburdened by stressful emotions – such as anger, resentment, bitterness and frustration – there appears no escape from these pent-up feelings.
Just as the heart – which plagued by plaque – loses its elasticity, so does the mind when choked by negative emotions and stress.
Nargis Raza, stress management consultant and director, Osteopathic Health Centre, Dubai, says negative thoughts can lead to the production of high levels of adrenaline in the body.
“This can lead to high blood pressure or hypertension and high blood sugar levels, running the risk of diabetes, irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), insomnia, inability to focus and concentrate. Restlessness, tense muscles, elevated heart rate and insomnia are all signs of an uneasy mind. So mental stress, as much as coronary stress, can manifest as physical ill health,'' she says.
In his book Dr Dean Ornish's Program for Reversing Heart Disease, Dr. Ornish argues that heart disease is a result of behavioural patterns (including manifestations of aggression, repressed emotions, long-held resentment and bitterness) and a poor diet. He says when this mindset is changed and a new lifestyle and behaviour are embraced, it is possible to reverse heart disease.
A vast amount of energy is wasted on negative thoughts. You may feel stuck in a state where you feel that things are only going in the wrong direction. With such a bleak outlook, you may lose perspective. This may give rise to feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, hatred and low self-esteem.
So if we were to apply interventional therapy to the mind, what would it be? How would we unclog our mental arteries and stimulate the free flow of positive thoughts?
Raza offers a clutch of mental stents and details the step-by-step procedure for putting them in place.
Mental Stent #1: Own up
When we are stressed, we often blame it on circumstances or on someone else. Although there may be some truth in this, an incident is often just a catalyst.
You could be driving through peak-hour traffic, tired and frustrated, or you could drive through the same traffic listening to beautiful music. The choice is yours.
“We respond to events in our life in the framework of our own mind and as individuals we can respond differently to the same situation,'' says Raza.
“Let's take an example to explore this: two women living in the same building get an eviction notice. Let's call them Ms A and Ms B. Ms A is traumatised by the eviction notice. She fears that she may not be able to get a suitable place soon, that she may not be able to afford what she gets. She loses her appetite and cannot sleep; it really vexes her. Ms B immediately looks for suitable rental places and is generally more proactive. As a result, she manages to find a good place before her time runs out. The difference lies in the women's attitudes to the same situation.
“Now let us look at the factors that led to the two responses. Ms A had a childhood overshadowed by frequent relocations; she regularly changed schools and became insecure and isolated. The eviction notice recreated this dread at an unconscious level, because her childhood experience was so traumatic. Ms B had no history of traumatic associations with moving, so she simply took this on as a problem to be solved – and she did just that.''
Predisposition to stress
History – genetic and hereditary factors – predisposes a person to cardiac problems. Similarly, a history of trauma can predispose someone to feel stressed in situations that do not warrant this. This may happen because a person's mind is accustomed to reacting to situation A with emotion A.
When we are caught in this vicious cycle, it is hard to see a way out of it. So how do we bring about a disconnect between history and response?
What kind of mental stent do we need?
Mental Stent #2: Be aware of your problem
You can start by becoming aware of your situation and taking action, says Raza. “Be aware of the futility of worrying. This can use up a lot of energy, whereas being proactive about solving a problem can make you feel better,'' she says.
“Acknowledging that your reaction is [out of proportion to] the scale of the problem is the first step. You need to understand the underlying causes of this negative response. Whether your terror is justified or not is irrelevant. That you feel such an emotion needs to be honoured. Lots of people go into denial about their anxiety, or worse, judge it. For example, Ms A might say to herself: ‘Look at me, a grown woman still feeling terrorised by something that happened so many years ago.' By saying this, she is denying herself the chance to explore her fears and the reason behind it. This exploration may provide the key to her fear.
“As Stephen Covey wrote in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families: ‘Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our happiness'.
“As Ms A begins to understand her emotional response to her childhood moves … she may begin to realise that the same thing need not happen now. She is in charge of her life and able to make decisions that will take her from one livable home to another. She needs to act quickly … to restore her mental comfort level. In all likelihood, she will find it is possible, but perhaps not easy, to find a new home.''
The stents used here are acknowledgement followed by insight then action, says Raza. However, many people opt to avoid putting stents in place and will only do so when they are in a very uncomfortable situation.
Some people endure extreme stress before they confront issues – a step often taken out of desperation. This leads them to take action, such as seeking help from counsellors.
“Many people in desperation engage in substance abuse in the false hope that this will resolve their fears,'' says Raza. “Substances, medication and drugs numb the pain faster than mental stents, but they escalate the problem in the long run.''
Mental Stent #3: Attaining balance
We all have mental, physical, emotional and spiritual needs, says Raza. Sometimes, your emotional needs need addressing (perhaps you're lonely), but you feed your physical body. Or your mental state may be stressed, so you resort to unhealthy ways to cope with it.
If your emotional needs are great, you must not just feed your physical body – you must nourish it emotionally. Raza recommends different prescriptions for different types of people, but gives one example.
“Broadly speaking … for someone who is into right-brain activities and is feeling dissatisfied, we would suggest left-brain activities – such as painting, sculpture, creative writing – which would help to release negative energy.''
Being too competitive and goal-driven often leads to a lapse in your emotional side, she says. Paying attention to your emotional, physical, spiritual and intellectual needs leads to harmony. To achieve this, what you may first need are short-term stents.
#Short-term stents
“A new mother may fear her intellectual abilities are turning to mush because she is spending all her waking hours changing nappies,'' says Raza. “While this is something she really wants to do, she may also resent the role. This could build up to the extent that she [experiences] depression and has low self-esteem. She needs to find an outlet for this negative energy.''
What would help her, Raza suggests, is to take a short course in art, craft or a sport that enables her to get out and be a part of the adult world for a while. She could then continue practising the skill at her own pace. She does not have to constantly enrol in courses to keep the stent in place.
A) Acceptance
Acceptance begins the process of unclogging your mental arteries. Your journey to better mental health begins in front of a mental mirror, says Raza.
“Take a good look at the kind of person you think you are. Aside from the flaws in your physical appearance, there are the mental scars too – left behind by an act of unkindness or betrayal, wrinkles that have been inked in ‘could have done better than that', creases that hide the disappointment of lost opportunities.
“Then look at your strengths: your beauty spots, a loving note or hug that helped someone through a crisis or a ‘Rock of Gibraltar' tag you deserved.
“If you glance into the mental mirror, shriek ‘Yeeuw!' and look away – what then? If you don't grant yourself approval, how can you expect to gain it from others? You must first learn to accept yourself. Love yourself and say, ‘What I see is good enough for me. With the strengths I have, I will do the best I can'.''
B) Face up to your ugly emotions
The more you try to push anger, frustration, jealousy and worthlessness to the back of your mind, the more these will come out with a vengeance.
Raza says we repress these feelings because we think they are socially unacceptable. “Once you recognise that negative feelings are just negative energy and by expressing them you are releasing them, the less you will allow them to affect you. And there is always something you can do to vent your feelings. You could go to the person who is affecting you and say, ‘What you did has made me feel angry, worthless, jealous or whatever … and I'd like to see if we can resolve this matter.'
“If this could adversely affect circumstances (perhaps, your work situation) then writing it out can be cathartic. Or you can rid yourself of the negative feelings by jogging, going to the gym or washing your car – anything that releases the energy.''
C) Fear factor
“The worst thing to fear is fear itself,'' says Raza. “When we fear something, we allow it to dictate our actions and reactions. In short, we allow it to control our lives. Fear often drives our lives – fear of not being given a raise, losing your job, and so on.''
During childhood we are taught to be careful. Well-meaning parents often motivate their children using fear: if you don't get good grades, you won't get into a good university and if you don't get a good degree you won't get a good job. At work, many people try to satisfy the expectations of their superiors, rather than perform their role properly. So what kind of stents do we need for ridding our mind of fear?
D) Reality check
First, find out whether the thing you fear is actually true. For example, does the company really expect of you what you think it does? Be prepared to discuss your views with a superior. You could say, ‘I understand that the company has set certain goals for me. I can achieve these, but I have my own means of doing so. Are you prepared to give me the chance to try to do it my way?' If you are clear about your approach and not fearful, it's likely you will be understood and ultimately achieve your goals. Many people won't do this, because they're fearful.
E) Deep breathing
The next step is to try a simple meditative exercise such as deep breathing. When you do this, breathe in as deeply as you can. This gives you the opportunity to release your negative feelings.
“You may feel that in some areas [of the mind], it may not want to release its negative attachments. Be aware of this attachment and inhale deeply, visualising a surge of air to this area which will help it to relax,'' says Raza. “Breathe in and feel the soothing, calming and positive energy flow through your body, all the way to your toes. Breathe out consciously and free yourself of negativity and fear. If your mind says, ‘But, what if?' override this by breathing in and breathing out.
“What you are saying to your mind is, ‘Stop your chattering, I'm busy breathing now'. In that moment when you breathe in and are not listening to your mind, you are distancing yourself from your negative thoughts.
“Ideally, you can do this for 2-20 minutes. Something crucial happens during this process – you gain perspective. With this new perspective, you believe that the outcome of your actions will be good for you and everyone involved. This is the final step in the process of inserting a mental stent.
F) Interventional therapies
“There are times when our ability to put mental stents in place is so diminished that we need to seek the help of psychological counsellors, psychiatrists, psychotherapists or practitioners of alternative healing,'' says Raza. She feels there is a risk of the individual abdicating responsibility and putting himself into the hands of the professional/healer.
“While initial emergency intervention is essential and effective to pluck the individual from the depths of mental illnesses [for example, depression] and make him accessible to self-healing … it may not always happen that way.
“The temptation to sit back and not lift a finger to help [himself] may be too great to resist. And this can lead to abuse of the patient-healer relationship.''
(That said, a good psychologist or counsellor aims to do exactly that – make the patient help himself. And a profession can offer insights an individual is often unaware of.)
G) Diet and exercise plan
Once stents are in place in arteries, the way to a healthy heart is by maintaining a good diet and exercise plan. Similarly, it's essential to have a plan to keep your mind healthy.
For mental energy we need goals to work towards – goals that interest us and spark our creativity, says Raza. These could be short-term personal goals or long-term career goals.
Fruits and vegetables give antioxidants and vitamins, so for mental antioxidants and vitamins Raza recommends “reading stimulating and inspirational books, maintaining a positive attitude and avoiding negative and destructive patterns like judgment and criticism''.
Proteins form the building blocks for muscle and are needed to repair cells. To keep the mental muscle healthy, we need a balance of stimulation and rest, says Raza. She recommends regular cathartic activities, such as writing a journal, to prevent the build-up of negative thoughts. Exercise is another way to let off steam, she adds. “Meditation is another way to distance yourself from the chatter of the mind and to gain some perspective about your ‘toxic' thoughts.''
But just as you need commitment to maintain a ‘heart-healthy' lifestyle, maintaining a ‘mind-healthy' lifestyle requires utmost dedication.
This feature is based on an interview with one consultant and addresses some general points on stress management. The treatments recommended are not substitutes for seeing a counsellor, psychiatrist or psychologist. If you experience severe stress, consult a professional.
