Abu Dhabi: Some high-earning Non-Resident Indians (NRIs) living in the UAE are finding it difficult to take care of ageing parents still living back home in their home country.
Reasons vary but many parents refuse to join their expat children abroad in their golden years and want to remain near or in their hometowns,
The practice in western societies — placing ageing parents in retirement homes — is a difficult option for many Indians given that the practice is frowned upon in more traditional Indian societal circles where children are expected to care of their relatives.
Villages in a state such as Kerala and many other parts of India boast of affluent NRIs who are not in a position to take care of their old parents back home, Uma Preman, Director of Santhi Medical Information Centre, a reputed medical charity in Kerala, told Gulf News on Tuesday.
Preman is on a short visit to the UAE.
A classified advertisement, she said, recently published in a leading daily in the south Indian Sstate of Kerala reflects this dilemma of expats trying to find proper care for parents back home in India.
The ad was titled “House with modern facilities on rent with an old mother”.
When she called up the contact number, she was surprised to learn that the prospective tenant did not need to pay the rent if he or she was ready to meet the only condition of the landlord — taking care of his old mother.
The homeowner and his wife are working in Europe with their children who are students there.
The old mother was unwilling to move to Europe. She did not want to leave her home either. Although her son was sympathetic to her reasons, he was not in a position to relocate home as his wife and children are settled in Europe.
This dilemma, caused by the withering of the joint family system, is intensified in Kerala.
“If there was an institution to take care of old people in that village, the old mother would have happily moved there because she wouldn’t have to leave her home and she could still meet her relatives and friends.”
Preman does not want to use the name ‘old age home’ because the very name also has contributed to the social stigma.
She wants to call them “care home or love home”.
Unfortunately, most of such institutions are in towns and cities in India.
Some long-term expatriates in the UAE said a social change is essential in India to deal with the problems of parents of NRIs. With the stringent immigration rules, it is difficult for most middle- and upper-middle class Indians to bring their families to the UAE, Mohammad Haneef, 38, an administrator, said. “Without a joint family system, an old age home is the only option,” he said.
Sowmya Sreenath, 40, an accountant, said some parents cannot adjust here even if they come: “That generation has to change the attitude towards old age homes,” she said.
