‘Be a leader!’ Saying this or making a similar comment just doesn’t cut it when it comes to awakening the leader within. Saying the same, but only slower and louder like you do when a person doesn’t understand what you’re saying, won’t work either.
I was recently asked to give a speech at the American School of Dubai titled ‘Unleashing the leader in your child’. At first this seemed like a very simple topic to address — talking about the typical skills of teamwork, vision, communication and how to get along with people, which are the emotional intelligence part of leading.
But learning those skills won’t unleash the leader in anyone. Sure mastering them will make you a better if you are already one, but they won’t make you into one.
Having spent decades studying leaders and the science of leadership, I wondered deeply about, ‘How do you unleash the leader in someone?’. It is not an issue of skill, it is actually about behaviour — having a “leader”-like disposition.
This begs the question, are leaders made or born? Well, they are made out of what they are born with. Some people have a far easier time developing into a leader, while others have to work hard at.
Because it is hard work, many who could be leaders do not put in the effort and never make it. It is possible for anyone to become a leader, but it’s not probable that many will. You cannot force someone to become a leader.
I’m not speaking of getting a “leadership” — an over-exaggerated management — role in a company. Let’s focus on what it takes to really lead.
Remember leaders by definition are not normal. They are outliers from the normal pack. They are in a category distinct from ordinary people. We immediately identify a leader as someone who is great or who succeeds at being different from the rank and file.
We note the distinctions, the rare characteristics of people who are different. There even seems to be a secret admiration for their willingness to break from the pack.
If you desire to be like everyone else and be accepted, then pursue normalcy, not being a leader. There are benefits of being normal — safety, acceptance and ease of life — but leading is not among them.
If you want to be a leader, or if you want your child to be a leader, then you need to break from the pack. To do this you need self-efficacy, which is the extent or strength of your belief in your own ability to complete tasks and reach goals.
The best part is, belief is something that you can build.
Instead of thinking of self-efficacy as the final determinant of successful leadership, think of it as the starting line. The higher it is, the more likely you are to lead. People in all walks of life, even leaders, perform as they perceive themselves.
If leaders have the belief that they exhibit leadership ability, then they perform accordingly.
People who doubt their capability shy away from difficult tasks. They find it hard to motivate themselves and slacken their efforts or give up quickly in the face of obstacles.
Leaders don’t do that, they believe and push through. If you are convinced that you have what it takes to succeed, you’ll persevere.
Why aren’t there more leaders? Too many, may be even most, people do not possess the belief that they can be. Your belief in your ability will affect if and how well you lead.
You need to accept, even have confidence, in your leadership abilities in order to achieve your fullest potential.
Being normal may not be all that it is hyped up to be. Although the world conditions us to strive and even be obsessed with being normal, this is not the pathway to leadership, just acceptance.
It will take courage to lead and live outside of the norm.
Credit: The writer is a leadership adviser and author of ‘10 Tips for Leading in the Middle East’ and other writings. Follow him on Twitter: @tommyweir.
