Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), TV viewers in the UAE have been denied the chance to watch pint-sized beauty queens strut their pageant stuff in US reality show, Toddlers And Tiaras. However, Scene hasn't failed to notice that the antics of the breakout stars, Isabella Barrett, Honey Boo Boo Child (aka Alana Thompson), Paisley Dickey and Eden Wood, are increasingly splashed across the internet, as these six and seven year olds are fed bottles of ‘go-go juice' (a mix of Red Bull and Mountain Dew) by their mothers, perform LMFAO's Sexy And I Know It at nightclubs, are dressed up to resemble movie prostitutes and are landing their own spin-off shows.
And as Eden Wood gets ready to debut her own reality TV show, Eden's World, in which she will give advice to other child pageant contestants, we step into the terrifying world of Toddlers And Tiaras. Be afraid… be very afraid.
"Eden's a little star"
Seven-year-old Eden Wood is the undisputed breakout star of TLC's hit show, launching her new reality show after her mother realised she was "over" competing in pageants.
"She loves going and being around other girls. That's her schtick," spilled her mum, Mickie. "I could tell by her behaviour that she was over it last year already, the hair and make-up. She was over it."
And Mickie, who admits to having spent over Dh360,000 in savings on her daughter's ‘career' and "made back maybe $40,000 or $50,000 (Dh147,000-Dh180,000) in prizes. You gotta know going into this, you're never gonna make the money back. It's an extremely expensive sport, but it's what we love", is keen to push Eden further, believing the precocious tot possesses star qualities.
"Eden's a little star," she insists. "She does commentary. She does funny stuff. She's reporting. She comes across as a little superstar, and the drama with the adults is just a part of that." And there's no denying that ‘drama' is Eden's bag, with the little girl revealing of her personal style that it's "Very girly and very frou-frou." And she says her favourite footwear is "My Vegas showgirl shoes."
Eden's competition
Another standout ‘star' from the show is Honey Boo Boo Child (aka Alana Thompson), whose mother gets the six year old pumped up on a drink of sugar and caffeine before her shows. And mother June is famously defensive of the ‘go-go juice' mix of fizzy Mountain Dew and Red Bull she feeds Alana, sniping, "There are worst things...There are normal people every day who give their kids this. Why is it such a big issue with us pageant moms?" Insisting of the unhealthiness of the drink, "Whether skinny or fat, whatever, I'm still gonna love my children, regardless."
Alana - who became famous for uttering the line, "A dollar makes me holler!" on the show - is also rumoured to be in talks for her own reality TV show, with proud June gushing, "You never know what's going to come out of her mouth!"
And bringing even more drama to the world of child beauty pageants are three-year-old Paisley Dickey and Isabella Barrett, five - who have already tangled on TV after Isabella branded Paisley a "hooker" after the tot was dressed up as Julia Robert's character from Pretty Woman in cut-out minidress and thigh-high boots.
"Last time I was here, Paisley was trying to copy me," sniped Isabella. "But my mom doesn't dress me up as a hooker." To which Paisley's mum, Wendy replied, "I am used to this kind of behaviour now from jealous moms. Doesn't even bother me anymore... This is Isabella's mom's way of trying to get attention for her daughter."
Bad mothers?
With plenty of pageant mums clearly attempting to live their broken beauty dreams vicariously through their daughters, some of the mums appear to have fallen into deep denial about the role they play in sexualising their young children. And Isabella's mother, Susanna, went as far as to sue various news outlets to the tune of Dh108 million, because she believes it is their fault that "Isabella is now perceived sexually, erotically and pornographically".
After it was revealed that Susanna had allowed Isabella, five, to sing LMFAO track, Sexy And I Know It at New York Nightclub, Liberation, the pageant mum insisted it was media reporting in "an overly sexualised manner" that hurt her child, not her own actions.
"She was not ‘gyrating' at a ‘nightclub' or singing ‘about her sex appeal'," slammed Susanna. "On the contrary, it is the defendants who, through their articles... thrust these false and vulgar characteristics on to Isabella."
And the overweight June Thompson is content to put up with the hyped-up behaviour exhibited by her daughter after a glass of ‘go-go juice', allowing Alana to pull her hair and hit her, whilst insisting, "There are far worse things. I could be giving her alcohol."
Not as sweet as honey
Honey Boo Boo child in her own words…
On her competition "Those other girls must be crazy if they think they're gonna beat me, Honey Boo Boo Child."
On her fame "I'm a superstar because I do pageants."
On cash "I like to win because I like to win money."
On her special drink "Go-go juice makes me laugh-ey and play-ey and it makes me feel like I wanna pull my mama's hair."
On losing "I feel sad because I didn't get a big trophy and I didn't get a crown."
