Arranged marriages rejected by Bihar brides-to-be

Patna: A new kind of social revolution is silently taking place in the hinterland of Bihar. The otherwise conservative, hesitant rural girls who until a few years back would hardly object to the marriage-related decisions taken about them by their parents and would simply accept just anyone as their life partners are now openly rejecting grooms finding them not suitable.

Social scientists attribute these changes to their growing awareness towards education and a number of schemes launched by the government for their social empowerment.

In the past one month since the marriage season began, there have been around a dozen incidents where the brides have openly rejected grooms—some even during the solemnisation of wedding ceremony well in the presence of huge number of guests from both sides. The prime reasons behind their rejections have been turned out to be grooms not being properly literate, over-aged, their physical deformities or simply their dark complexion while a few were turned back for reaching the marriage venues drunk. The changes can indeed be termed quite significant given the fact that social scales are tilted heavily against the fair sex in rural Bihar.

In a latest incident, a girl who is a resident of Madheli village under Kursela police station in eastern Bihar’s Katihar district, refused to tie the nuptial knot after being told by someone that the groom was mentally unsound. The groom’s family tried their best to convince the girl but she remained adamant on her decision as the groom eventually returned home empty-handed. “I didn’t find the boy up to the mark and rejected him since the marriage would have adversely affected my life,” the bride told the groom’s family.

In another case, a girl cancelled her marriage fixed with a youth in Rohtas district when she found the boy was not literate and only knew how to put in his signature. The marriage was scheduled to be solemnised on May 29 for which invitation cards had even been distributed among the guests. It all happened when someone told the girl, a resident of Pachhyata hamlet under Sanjhauli block in this district, the boy to whom she is to be married was not literate. Subsequently, she chalked out a plan to test his intelligence and invited the youth at a city hotel for lunch during which she asked him to write down his address. As the youth did not do, the girl instantly returned the mobile the youth had gifted her earlier and announced rejection of marriage.

Another such incident was reported from Arai village in Patna district on May 20 when a girl Puja Kumari refused to marry the groom after finding him over-aged. The marriage procession had come from Saran district and the preparation was being made for the exchange of garland ceremony when news of her rejection came.

On May 13, a girl, resident of Koraiya village in Saran district, rejected the groom who had come with a marriage procession to marry her after she noticed his fingers were disfigured. The same day, another girl who hails from Bariyapur village in Siwan district refused to go ahead with the marriage ceremony as the groom was not good looking while in another incident reported from Belhan village in Rohtas district the same day, the girl refused to marry the groom as she said he was not the same she had agreed to marry earlier.

The ongoing changes on the social fronts have stunned the social scientists who say it was rare for women to spurn grooms, that too at the wedding venues, till a few years back since this was found against the social norms and more because the girls felt that would earn a very bad name for them and their families. But now, they want to marry on their own terms as they have gone quite aware about their rights, thanks to the intensive campaign launched by the government for their education and social empowerment.

In fact, ruling Nitish Kumar government in Bihar even launched the free cycle scheme for girls under which girls students are being given free cycles to attend class in schools. The idea has far-reaching social effects as it has not only improved enrolment in schools but has made girls conscious about their rights. Today, the groups of girls dressed in blue clothes and pedalling their way to schools is a very common sight which is indicative of the changes in the social set-up. The result is that they are now independently taking decisions about their life and life-partners, feel the experts.