F1’s plotlines compete with Hollywood

Hollywood’s cleverest movie plot writers would be hard-pressed to convey as believable the intrigue and drama of Formula One this season, with zeroes and heroes galore.

The contributory elements are at times mind-boggling, as is the restless pursuit behind the scenes of one team or another to discredit or undermine a rival outfit by fair means or foul.

On-track driver brilliance and triumph borne of skill and bravery is one thing — but advanced technical know-how, bordering on wizardry in ultra-secrecy, is the be all and end all in the long run.

So is the shameless readiness of teams to outwit each other, underhandedly or otherwise, as did, it appears, Mercedes with a top-secret tyre session apparently against the rules. They are accused of breaking an in-season ban on testing, with exclusive F1 tyre suppliers Pirelli reportedly willing accomplices.

Ferrari and Red Bull both rushed to complain when leaked news of Mercedes’ hush-hush three-day test after the Spanish Grand Prix reached them at last weekend’s Monaco Grand Prix. They are probably both miffed because they would like to have done the same thing if they thought they could have got away with it.

Mercedes boss Ross Brawn, as shrewd a schemer as they come, said defensively: “It’s up to the stewards to decide if we have done anything wrong. We’re comfortable.”

I figure it unlikely that the German legends and their convincing Monaco winner, Nico Rosberg, will suffer a cancellation of their result, but the odds are that Mercedes will be hit with a heavy fine and co-conspirators Pirelli a severe reprimand.

Quite right, too. The rule is that all 11 teams have to unanimously agree to any extra test days and Mercedes failed to mention their little secret.

As if all that subversion was not enough drama to stir the emotions, the sheer spellbinding ability of Rosberg to overhelmingly claim victory in a start-to-finish show after a hat-trick of pole postions was as memorable as any race fan would enjoy.

But there were villains, too, as well as heroes and movie maker Alfred Hitchock’s style of nail-biting plots was epiotmised in harsh reality in a crash-bang-wallop goodies-versus-baddies episode.

The normally saturnine Kimi Raikkonen, having been bashed by the careless Sergio Perez’s McLaren, said the Mexican should be slapped in the face and added: “He hit me from behind and it was a stupid move.”

Old bad habits die hard. Romain Grosjean, too, a regular offender last season, was at it again. He clouted Daniel Ricciardo and earned a 10-place relegation on the grid for the upcoming Canadian clash.

Honestly, you couldn’t make it up.

— The writer is a motorsport expert based in London