One reads about bitter divorce battles with the couple fighting over the spoils of war such as material possessions. Sometimes the acrimonious bickering seems to beggar belief. However, although many may find this kind of squabbling petty, I can understand where all that emotion comes from.
Every household has a favourite chair which is appropriated by one member of the family, usually the oldest person who, by virtue of age and authority, deems it his prerogative to choose where he sits. This seating arrangement may not find favour among the others but they opt to keep silent, discretion being the better part of valour.
One learns early to pick one's battles as fighting a lost cause is pointless. Reserve your strength for better and bigger causes. Thus, the patriarch usually gets away with this show of strength, backed by the matriarch who is wise enough to realise that this is the best arrangement in the interests of family peace.
This particular item of furniture is chosen with great care and after much thought. It is tried and tested and the body seems to sink into its softness, with its contours aligning with those of the figure in it. The chosen chair soon becomes a much coveted object, with many claimants to the throne the moment the real owner is out of sight.
Children will fight for possession of it and sometimes the family pet, usually a pampered dog, will settle the question by quickly jumping into it and settling itself so comfortably, with its melting brown eyes seeming to say 'you wouldn't be so mean as to move me now, would you?'
I have seen this scene re-enacted over and over again in countless homes. But, to my utter amazement, I have also observed a similar phenomenon at a workplace canteen. Of course, here it isn't a particular chair but the position of the same which is paramount.
It must face the door through which a continuous stream of people passes, giving one a fascinating glimpse of varied visages, hues and apparel. This prime position means that one is first to catch sight of a new face and announce the same to one's table mates who will then perform several awkward manoeuvres to spot the same without seeming to do so openly.
Wrong direction
Often, one finds oneself looking in the completely wrong direction and focusing one's glance on someone else, wondering all the while why the description one has just been given is so way off the mark. By the time one realises one's mistake, the 'spotter' has moved on to an entirely different object of his attention. Blank faces meet his appraisal of this next attraction as they are still trying to guess who the first description applies to
As the guessing game continues, the one in the ringside seat has this annoying expression on his face which seems to reproach the others for their slow reactions. So, the others plan how to bring him down a notch or two. The next day they make it a point of arriving before him and positioning the chairs in such a way that the only one left is the one which faces the wall.
As soon as they see him approach, they pretend to be absorbed in conversation but all their senses are alert to the first signs of disbelief and disgust at being deprived of his rightful place. And, sure enough, the complaints start fast and furious. There are references to usurpation and wrongful wresting of his position.
Soon the joke wears thin as they can see how this the normally bright demeanour has transformed itself from sunny to cloudy with a hint of rain. They decide that this will be the last time they will turn the tables on him. Somehow it isn't worth the effort when a simple reorganisation of seating arrangements can so adversely affect mood and temperament.
So, the next time you call on someone, think very carefully before you park yourself on that chair which seems so inviting. You could be guilty of trespass if it happens to be a prized piece of furniture.
